Judy Ritchie wrote:

<< Attending my LLL meetings at the time, the one thing that got me was the
constant "meeting all the children's needs" statements.  Well, I wondered,
when was it OK to meet my own sleep needs?  >>

I wanted to put a quick plug in here for LLL for anyone who's not familiar
with the organization and has heard things about LLL leaders as "zealots" or
"bf nazis".

LLL leaders are all mothers themselves and know what it's like to be sleep
deprived with a new baby.  LLL believes in "family first".  That's not the
same as "meeting all the children's needs".  We could never meet all our
children's needs, no matter how hard we try.  I'm sorry that's the way it
came across to Judy.

LLL leaders work hard to support the mother as well as the baby.  In LLL's
book "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" there is a section entitled "Taking
Care of Mother" where it's mentioned that some new mothers get so busy taking
care of their new babies they forget to take care of themselves.  There are
suggestions on how new moms can find ways to restore themselves and "mother
the mother".

When mothers come to LLL with concerns about their baby not sleeping through
the night we point out the advantages to the baby of not sleeping through the
night too early - better milk intake leading to better growth, later return
of menses for the mom, and lower SIDS.  We then suggest ways to help the mom
and baby sleep better, such as taking the baby into bed so the mother doesn't
have to get up so often.  We recommend books, especially William Sears
"Nighttime Parenting" to counteract the temptation to ferberize the baby.  We
suggest the mother get more rest by napping when the baby does, letting
housekeeping standards slide for a little bit, getting more help from partner
or friends with childcare and chores.

I'm so sorry, Judy, that you got the impression that LLL isn't sensitive to
the needs of the mother and glad you found a way to get yourself more sleep.

I'd recommend that anybody with questions regarding LLL's stand on nighttime
parenting read <A HREF="http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/FAQsleep.html">LLLI: FAQ on Sleeping through the Night</A> at
http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/FAQsleep.html

Cynthia D. Payne, IBCLC
and La Leche League leader since 1987
In the Berkshires of western Massachusetts

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