In response to Jessica's post:
-Every baby is a little bit different, I felt kind of stupid with
my 3rd because what the first two liked, she didn't like, I had to learn
all over again
A friend shared that she felt stupid with her 4th baby for the
same reason, reassuring words to me. I often mention this to multips,
just that
every baby is different, and she has gone through lots of
development with the older sibling and I don't expect her to remember
everything.
My purpose is to help her lighten up and take off pressure to
'know everything' about taking care of babies just because she has had
one
or two or more of them.
- The peds doc who did the discharge exam on my 3rd baby turned to me
and said 'Mrs. Potts, you have a beautiful baby.' Two weeks later at
home I remembered those words and said to her, 'Dr. R. said you are
beautiful, it must be true.' The thing I want you all to know is that I
did not
have a bonding deficit! I was an infertility pt. for 2 years, we
had adopted a boy, 3 by then, and had a 2 1/2 yo bio daughter. I
desperately
wanted each of my children. I am blessed to have a wonderful
husband, I was 35 at the time (point: not a teen).
Maybe I am a psych case, but I think quite average, and any
encouraging word helped me fall in love with my baby and bond with her.
Since then I have tried to say a positive/encouraging comment about
every baby I meet, and praise any mothering skills.
-An important lesson personal experience can teach us is, it's not
always so easy and give someone some time and space! I feel uneasy
when I hear some health professionals say they are comfortable with
pts. breastfeeding because they did it. Don't all of you jump on me at
once!! That is a good thing. But not so good if all a hcp knows is
their own breastfeeding experience. We have at least 3 2-inch wide
textbooks with information we need to know! We need to give mothers
options and choices, not just teach the one or two things that worked for
us personally. I shared this opinion with a young single OB nurse once
who thought nurses who had breast fed their babies had an advantage;
there is a good argument that they do, but any nurse can learn competent
breastfeeding care that works.
Didn't mean to be so long....
Susan in Minnesota
rn ibclc
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