Amy Kotler expresses frustration when mothers who seem to be doing fine,
choose to stop BF.  Of course there are numerous situations when mothers
choose something different from what I would, and I have realized that the
only way for me to glean anything useful in these situations is to ask the
women how the decision-making was for them.  If I can give them the
opportunity to be heard when they say how they arrived at their decision,
and be respected as autonomous humans capable of making the best decisions
for themselves, it's even better.  I learn something every time, and maybe
they feel more respected and stronger, which in my mind can only be a good
thing.

Since I work as a staff midwife in the only maternity institution serving a
large geographic region, there is a high likelihood I will meet these women
with subsequent children, and it's important to me that they feel just as
safe telling me that they didn't enjoy BF as they would telling me they BF
for 6 years.  It is SO not about US!  I suspect this may be even more
essential in your practice, Amy, where a feeling of guilt at having let you
down may even lead a mother to seek a new pediatrician.

All this aside, it is pretty wonderful to meet mothers of young children at
the supermarket and have them thank you for the help you gave them last year
or even longer ago, because they are still enjoying their BF relationships.
Those are the things to cherish, to nourish your soul through the times of
famine.



Cheers

Rachel Myr

Kristiansand, Norway

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