----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Debbi Heffern" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, January 07, 2008 9:48 PM
Subject: Re: [LACTNET] Direct feeding vs breastpumping and when to intro the 
bottle


**Hello all,

I say that we want to be sure breastfeeding is well-established first.  She’ll 
know when breastfeeding is well-established because she’ll be nursing 
comfortably and her baby will have a solid weight gain *pattern* 
established, not just one or two gains, but a solid pattern.  That way if 
the bottle messes something up, she’ll be experienced enough to recognize it 
and be able to make adjustments to fix the change.

**This is what I say, too, and I would like to add something. I was taught 
by a speech therapist that the sucking reflex is an instinctive thing to a 
baby, a survival mechanism. Somewhere around 4, 5, 6 weeks the instinct 
gradually changes into acquired behavior, something a baby has learned at 
breast. Sucking becomes something not merely reflexmatic, but coordinated, 
intended action on the baby's behalf. This change is in line with 
'breastfeeding becoming well-established'. Well-established, though, is not 
only about production, but also about behavior. This time-aspect is 
therefore further specified as '4/5/6 weeks, provided that the process is 
well-established', so it is a time matter, as well as a behavior matter.

In the Netherlands, a common maternity leave is somewhere between 10 and 13 
weeks (after delivery). A healthy term baby is, of course, a whole different 
story than a premature or special care baby. So some dyads may be able to 
establish bf in a couple of weeks, others may need more time. Point is, 
though, that after the leave, many moms will pump and will therefore need to 
be able to (have someone) give their baby a bottle. In order to prevent 
stress in the last weeks of their leave and to allow their baby to get used 
to drinking from a bottle, we tell mothers that it may be a good idea to 
start around 4/5/6 weeks, so that both have time to adjust. Babies don't 
come with a guide that says "I'm (not) gonna make trouble when having to 
accept a bottle", so if a mom has to depend on it, it seems fair to allow 
her baby ánd herself some time. In talking to moms, I tell them that their 
baby has nothing to gain from a bottle, because he'll prefer the real stuff 
;-). It is *their* wish, the *parents'* lifestyle that necessitates a 
bottle, not the baby's wellbeing. So then I compare the situation to when 
you, as an adult, want another adult to do something for you. You don't 
force it from the other; you kindly ask, invite, encourage, entice the other 
into doing what you would like to get done. There's a Dutch saying: "You 
will catch more flies with syrup than with vinegar" and that also goes for 
babies: if you can present the bottle as a toy or a discovery or an 
adventure that delivers the same sweet milk the baby is used to at breast, 
at a time of day at which he likes to play anyway, you stand better chances 
of him accepting it, than when pushing it into his mouth forcefully when 
he's very hungry and doesn't understand why he's being denied the sweet, 
warm, soft breast he has come to know and appreciate so much.

In short: put no pressure on the baby (and he will probably also sense your 
hidden, psychologic pressure! like my girls would never settle easily after 
their last feed of the day if I had to go out, even if I hadn't changed and 
put make-up and perfume on!) to do what is only in your own interest; allow 
him time, establish the process well first, and take his maturity and his 
character into consideration. Both mom and baby will profit from avoiding a 
struggle with the bottle and enjoy the live feedings when mom is there. And 
of course: don't use a bottle if you are there all along, and decide for the 
one pump or the other only when the baby is born and you know what you need: 
a double-sided full automatic one to establish production or a simple thing 
to allow for a night at the cinema with a babysitter at home.

Kindly,

Marianne Vanderveen, Netherlands

             ***********************************************

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