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Subject:
From:
Mrs BN Carney <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Tue, 15 May 2001 10:37:29 +0930
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Karleen Gribble wrote:
>
> The conclusion is
> "Giving new mothers advice about how to help their children sleep through the night clearly helps a lot, so let's do more of it,"

I agree that sleep is important.  But I don't think it is impossible to get
enough sleep without having the baby 'sleep through the night'.  My second child
woke twice a night every night for the first two years of her life.  For the
first year I was constantly sleep deprived, it was awful, I had strong feelings
of resentment towards my daughter and I hated the way I hated her.  When she was
a year old I decided that I would take the bull by the horns and try Dr Ferber's
technique.  That night remains one of the worst night of my life.  I decided
that waking up twice a night for her was better than this.  I changed my
lifestyle a bit, I no longer tried to maintain the illusion that I had no
children after sunset and I went to bed a little earlier.  I knew she would wake
but instead of laying there dreading it and resenting her for it, I just slept
knowing that she would wake and accepting the inevitability of it.  Oddly, I
found that I slept better and had less trouble resettling her once I had
accepted the situation.  I also napped with my children in their room (for the
hour or so they were both asleep) in the afternoon and stopped using that time
for housework.  Housework got done once a week when my husband pitched in on
Saturday morning.

My expectations changed to fit her needs and my needs were better met too.  I
believe that parents create their own frustrations and deprivations by not
accepting their own family situation and by trying to fit it in to a socially
prescribed model ie, house work must always be done, social activities must not
change, adults to get 8 hours sleep and must be in one solid block, children to
sleep 12 hours a night also in one solid block, children must sleep in their own
room.

My third and fourth babies slept with us from the start and I have not
experienced any serious sleep deprivation.  In fact when either of them cry in
bed at night I wake in a panic because it is so rare.

My daughter (6) and my eldest son (9) still wake at night but now they are old
enough to get their own drink of water.

My personal opinion is that having babies does mean having less sleep, but the
degree of sleep deprivation can be minimised a lot by adjusting the parents'
sleep habits and expectations a bit too, and not necessarily forcing the baby to
make all the adjustments.

Gitte
--
BN Carney
<[log in to unmask]>

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