<Actually, the state of bfg in the US is much improved from the 'olden
days' of most of the last century.. . . . .  I'm old enough now to have
watched a generation of kids grow up.  I've
seen kids who were attachment parented have terrible problems in
adolescence
and kids who were in day care do just fine, and vice versa.  You don't
get a
guarentee that certain parenting techniques turn out a 'product' you will
like. >

Amen, Barbara. My experience exactly.

Breastfeeding in itself is not "magic". A great deal may depend on how
one learned (or didn't learn) to parent from one's family of origin. IME,
that is the first and foremost education in parenting that any of us
gets.

The first one of my children that I was able to breastfeed past 5-10 days
(Great experience, but relatively sudden weaning at 9 months, by my
choice, not recognizing the emotional cost), had a very problematic
adolescence. There is much about total family dynamics that impacts child
and adolescent development that few of us "know" when we start out.

Having other parents around as role models is indeed often helpful, but
"being independent, standing on our own two feet, and making our own
decisions" is also strongly valued in our culture (even if we are
attempting to do it in a relative social vacuum).

There is so much more to parenting than feeding. I think it was perhaps
Betty Ann Countryman whom I heard make a profound statement 40+ years ago
at an early LLL convention:

"Breastfeeding does not make up in advance for parenting shortcomings
that happen later on in the child's life."

Even now, I am still learning. I just came across a marvelous book on
discipline that I have started using with my grandchildren when they are
visiting me. ("1-2-3 Magic" by Thomas Phelan PhD.) I so wish I had this
kind of info when my children were growing up.

Jean
***************
K. Jean Cotterman RNC, IBCLC
Dayton, Ohio USA

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