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Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Tue, 27 Jul 1999 12:40:33 EDT
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Pam, I couldn't agree with you more.   Parents, or hcps including LCs or
anybody, really, who imagines that everybody has the same psychology and
culture and body feeling that they do, used to frustrate me, but now they
just make me shake my head is a sort of sad amusement.

People are different from each other, you know?   Why would you think that on
the one hand every bf baby is fine no matter what its growth as long as it
looks happy and healthy -- but not that families are fine no matter what
their sleeping arrangements as long as they look happy and healthy?

I've enjoyed sharing my bed, and I've enjoyed *not* sharing my bed.   And
anyone who thinks that the only reason not to get good sleep with your kids
in your bed is because you are a cold, detached parent, can just go off and
chat with Bruno Bettleheim, who 30 years ago told families that their
children were autistic because their mothers were icy.  For shame, really.

Sorry to flame, but I think this is both a cruel and a foolish thing to say
to anybody unless you know MUCH more about them then where their kids sleep.

In one of Anne Lamott's books she quotes a minister friend who says that when
God hates all the same people you do you can be pretty sure you have created
God in your own image.  And I'd say the same about parenting:  when perfect
parents have all the same habits you do you can be pretty sure that you have
created them in your own image.

Elisheva Urbas, taking umbrage and not only on Pam's behalf either, in NYC

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