Dear Kate,

I am moved by your post and just want to respond to your request for help and
insight into dealing with adults' reactions to the NY attack.  I think that
each person's reaction and recovery from trauma is individual and the scars
remain for a very long time.  My husband is a therapist and one thing he
keeps emphasizing is that what people are feeling is normal, they're not
"crazy", nor clinically depressed.  People need to talk and talk some more.

One mom I called to check on with an older baby said she felt detached from
her son,  one said she didn't want any more children and felt apologetic to
her baby for bringing her into this now unsafe world, others have said having
their babies gives them reassurance and someone to concentrate on.  As you
said lots of physical contact, hugs and holding, touch, is so important; I
see it as a reality check-"I'm alive, I can touch others," - and the need to
connect with one another and not be so distant and unfeeling.

A resource that may be of help to you is the National Mental Health Assoc.;
their website currently has material on helping oneself and others to cope,
adults and children alike;  http://www.nmha.org

Feel free to email me privately if you'd just like to "talk".  I think we
professionals need to rehash what we expereince with clients and care for
ourselves so we can care for others.

Warmly,
Barbara Latterner, BSN, RN, IBCLC (former psychiatric nurse educator)
Brewster, NY

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