I think that disliking breastfeeding, (or disliking the idea of
breastfeeding) is not the same as disliking certain foods. Breastfeeding is
a part of a woman's natural biological life, and I think that finding it
psychologically distasteful is a significant problem.

I have found that sometimes, with lots of support and encouragement, a
mother who decides to breastfeed even while finding it distasteful will
discover that her hormones "kick in" and she learns to love it. I talked to
a pregnant woman this spring who told me she found the whole idea of
breastfeeding repulsive, she just didn't think it was for her. I asked her
how she felt about sex the first time she heard about how it was done, and
she laughed and said she thought that was pretty repulsive too and she
couldn't imagine herself doing it. And how did she feel about it now? She
laughed again, and agreed that maybe her feelings about breastfeeding could
change.

When she asked me to come by when her baby was two days old, she was happily
breastfeeding. She said it still felt weird, but she was astonished by the
way it made her feel closer and more loving towards her baby. I was touched
by the way she gazed at him while he nursed. He's six months old now and
still going strong.

In fact, I probably work harder to encourage these mothers because I think
that, given their discomfort with physical closeness and skin-to-skin
contact, their babies will really be missing out if they don't breastfeed. I
find that when these mothers bottlefeed, they are more inclined to feed baby
sitting in a carseat, or turned away from them. Bottlefeeding lets them be
more distant, which is more comfortable for them, but NOT GOOD for the baby.
Even if they don't like breastfeeding, it meets more of the babies' needs.
And I find that for many of them, even if it sometimes takes a while (the
mother this spring was faster than I usually see), breastfeeding eventually
becomes more pleasant. I do remember one mother who nursed for a year,
complaining the whole time that she didn't like breastfeeding. Yet I saw how
she smiled at her baby at the breast, how she held him lovingly and how
proud she was of how he grew on her milk. I think she was ultimately glad
that she had done something she found difficult for the good of her baby.

I think that if we met a new bride who said "I find the idea of sex
distasteful" we wouldn't suggest to her that she find "alternate methods"
for her husband and plan to conceive through artificial insemination. We
would help her find the psychological roots of her problem (not personally,
but perhaps through therapy) because we feel that having a sexual
relationship with her husband would enhance both of their lives. I feel the
same way about breastfeeding.

Teresa Pitman
Guelph, Ontario

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