Every time I discuss breastfeeding with non LC's, the guilt issue creeps
into the conversation.  It rears its ugly head in newspaper interviews,
panel discussions, TV appearances,  and wherever I find myself being
asked to talk on the subject of breastfeeding, I have a standard answer.

Recently I was interviewed on a health program together with a gynie
from another hospital who told me before the show that he thinks that
LC's are breastfeeding Nazi's.  He said that there really is no
difference between breast milk and "formula" these days.  A few minutes
later I hear this man telling someone else that his wife always gets
annoyed because he does not see any difference between sacramental wine
and champagne....I immediately said " Note, that he also thinks that
there is no difference between breast milk and artificial milk!!!"
Everyone laughed and he turned bright red. That was off camera before
the show.
On camera, he starts out with the guilt issue and I let him rant.  Then
it was my turn: I said that this is a mistaken concept that mothers who
do not breastfeed feel guilty. There are two groups of mothers: 
1 Mothers who choose not to breastfeed do not feel guilty any more than
the mother who chooses to smoke during pregnancy,  even though her gynie
has presented her with all the statistics of the dangers....she may feel
guilty later on when her baby suffers from various illnesses related to
smoking, and this may be a life lesson for her to help her make a better
decision next pregnancy, so it is a good thing that we remind her of
this.  ( All agreed with me.) 
2. Mothers who try to breastfeed and do not succeed do not feel guilt,
but rather anger, but mostly frustration for not getting enough help and
correct information in the early days when they were having problems.
If you are so worried about the feelings of these mothers, then our job
is to make sure that they get the help and correct information...more
IBCLC's in hospitals, health professionals who are educated about
lactation and give the correct answers, instead of worrying about
mothers' guilt.  Then I added this little tidbit:  Did you know that
there are actually health professionals that say that there is no
difference between artificial milk and human breast milk??  That
artificial milk has been improved so much recently ( God knows that it
HAD to be improved!!) that it  is  almost better?? As long as health
professionals are giving that message, mothers will continue to feel
frustrated at the lack of information which will help them make
decisions that could affect their health and their baby's for the rest
of their lives.  
That blew the panel away.  And of course I took advantage of the silence
that followed and continued to do what I always do when I appear on TV,
no matter what I am asked, I show latch and positioning with my dolly,
my cloth breast and my own breasts saying: " so lets give them the basic
key to starting out right, i.e. latching the baby on the breast not on
the nipple." 
At the end of the program, the gynie was my best friend and said that
not all LC's are breastfeeding police.
I think that we all have to work on dismissing the guilt myth and
telling it like it is: frustration, sadness, anger, etc.     
 
Esther Grunis, IBCLC
Lis Maternity Hospital
Tel Aviv, Israel
 

             ***********************************************

To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]

The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html