Another answer to the question

My question is, why are they emotionally or psychologically able to "have
sex" (and thus get pregnant), but then not able to breastfeed?

is control.

For many women (those who are in a good relationship) they have control over
when, where and if they will have sex - but there is no control over when or
where they will breastfeed.  The baby is crying and wants to eat now - the
baby doesn't ask if it is okay to eat now, is this a good spot to eat or if
the mom wants to feed them now.

Years ago when first discussing this idea of sexual abuse and its affect on
breastfeeding was a case history discussion.  The mother was having
difficulty with night nursing - no matter how she positioned herself or her
baby it was very painful.  There was no nipple damage and day nursing was
comfortable.  After many calls and talking with a more experienced person
(who also had a counseling background) the idea of broaching the subject
that some women with an abuse history would have problems nursing - and it
was okay to wean - did the mother than connect it (and admit it was a
possiblity).  The trigger was being awakened to let someone have access to
her body that she had no control over - during the day she was able to watch
the baby and the time and realize a nursing session would be coming soon,
giving her some control.  This woman was at a point that once she realized
that was the problem was able to nurse at night with no pain (she could put
it in a whole new context).

Hope this gives another dimension to this whole EP discussion.

Felicia Henry, BCCE, IBCLC
Oxnard, CA

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