Hello All!

I just completed my finals and then slogged through the 20+digests from Lactnet, so my 2 cents on this topic may be regarded as passe ... however, I didn't see anyone else address my concern directly ... perhaps its because you are all professionals that already *know* this ... I hope I haven't stepped on any toes here ... but I know LACTNET has a lot of readers who aspire to IBCLC status (just like me) and are feeling their way in counseling Moms ...

One of the things I have been trained, both through LLL and through the Loving Support Program, is to be sure to ask mothers the "will you be breastfeeding?" question in a manner that does not allow for a simple Yes/No response.  In other words: "Will You be Breastfeeding?"  Mom says: "NO" ... this "No" makes it very difficult to introduce any feedback ... we don't know why she said no and we move into the pushy territory if we continue once she says "No."

So, we could frame it as "What have you heard about breastfeeding?"  That is not Yes/No ... it's hard to frame questions in a hurry that don't invite the yes/no answer ... so it might help you to keep a list of open-ended questions on your desk (or in every prenatal file? ah hah!) 

I volunteer to do a Q&A sort of class for WIC twice a month, and I try and open the discussion for the class with the question "What is the craziest sounding thing you've heard about breastfeeding?"  It sounds negative at first, but it gets these moms (low-income, some of the least likely in our area to BF) to think of things that often make them laugh and doesn't sound like I am about to push BF down their throats (some of them feel like hostages as the "class" is represented as "required" to receive their vouchers).  This question also gets a lot of the old wives tales really out in the open ... I hear the "drink a beer/glass of wine every day to keep up your milk supply" etc.  This also allows, since mothers are already laughing, for a correction if necessary and occasionally an agreement without anyone taking offense (what sounds like an Old Wives Tale to the mother may actually be true about BF!  I had a Dad who sat in once and his response to this question was "I had this friend who said she was still BF her kid ... who was 2 years old!"  I was able to then explain about natural weaning and the benefits of long-term BF AND compliment Dad on his involvement and concern in the health of his baby.)

So, anyway, just some food for thought ... make sure your questions invite further discussion or you may have lost the opportunity to pursue with the moms who are leaning toward "No."

SAMPLE Questions (more than just BF): 
What have you heard about BF?
What do you know about BF? (If she tells you something that is incorrect, you can start with "Oh, that is something I hear from so many mothers ... I'm glad you brought it up!" ... then proceed to the truth)
What do you know about childbirth and what to expect?
What are your feelings about getting your child immunized?
What are your plans ...?
What are your thoughts on ...?
How does __________ feel? (this can elicit so many responses ... how does being a new mother feel? etc.)
How is sleeping going in your house?
How are you taking care of those cute little teeth?

Another tip we learned in Loving Support seminars ... PROBE for more info ... if mom says she heard BF will be painful, don't assume you know what she means ... one of the WIC ladies giving the seminar found, upon asking something along the lines of "What kind of pain are you worred about?" that a teenage mom she was working with thought she would have to use a pin to poke holes in her nipples to let the milk come out!  If she had simply launched into a lesson on why BF doesn't hurt, this young woman's concerns may never have been answered. So, asking "What else have you heard about that?"  "Could you tell me a little more about what your (mother/neighbor/doctor/whoever) said?" (or "How you feel about what (whoever) said?")  CLARIFY "Are you afraid that BF will be embaressing to you, or to someone who sees you BF?" etc.
REFLECT (acknowledge you understand) ... "So you think your husband will be possessive of your time?"

Make sure you AFFIRM her feelings ... "I've heard a lot of women say that ... That's a pretty common reaction ... I felt that way, too ... my mother told me the same thing."  Just make sure this response is honest.  I've had one come up now and again and I honestly have to respond "Wow, that's a new one ... thank you for sharing it, I love to hear new things."

After you've PROBED for more info, and AFFIRMED her feelings, then you can more easily move on to EDUCATION!  Learning these things has been really positive for me in the way I deal with mothers.


WarmLLLy,
Heidi Koslo
LLL Leader
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907-357-MILK (6455)

"Loving Support Makes Breastfeeding Work"

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