Pamela,
I so totally agree with you. In fact, I recently had a discussion with a
friend who is my mother's age. I said "The primary need of every baby under 3 is
to be held and attended" I think she covered her shocked expression quite
well...
How did we loose our ability to nurture and cuddle and connect with our
babies?
Why have babies if the plan is to shut them up, shut them down and get on
with OUR life?
Thank you for sharing your opinion. I am glad to know that I am not alone in
my concerns about Dr. Karp's methods and the way they are implemented by some
parents.
Laura Wright, IBCLC, RLC
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 9 Feb 2007 08:57:53 EST
From: Pamela Mazzella Di Bosco <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: HBOTB/Dr. Karp's book-a dissenter
We have discussed this at great length in the past. I am sure there is
much
you can read in the archives. Unlike the majority of those who sing the
praises of this technique, I am not so impressed. Perhaps my bias is
partially
because I am always a bit bothered when what has been ancient mother wisdom
belonging to women becomes a man's best seller and you need to become a
certified trainer to teach a baby to be calmed, but such is the American
Way. I
share my dislike for the marketing so you know it may cloud my judgment of
this
miracle cure for a baby's crying that he discovered. I do not like the
arms
at the side swaddling. Yes, there is 4th trimester and mimicking the womb
makes sense. Haven't we all said that for years? Long before he figured
out
he discovered it. But, after many ultrasound pictures, I have yet to see
a
baby with arms strapped to sides. I have no problem with swaddling and
comforting a baby with their hands near the face for feeding signals and
comfort. I
don't like the idea that losing freedom of movement of their arms makes
them
'turn on a reflex' or the interpretation of the shutting down as a calming
behavior when it could just as likely be a stress response. Babies shut
down
for a lot of reasons, and calming is not the only one. Shut down happens in
response to stress too. Personally, I think it would feel very stressful to
have my arms forcefully kept in a place that does not feel natural.
The comment "it works" doesn't mean much to me because many things "work"
but are not necessarily the best thing for a baby. Crying it out does
train a
baby to sleep for instance, formula makes a baby sleep longer for instance,
pacifiers stretch out the length of time between feedings, etc. Heck, Gary
Ezzo's style of baby care works too. Many things 'work' but that does not
equate with 'best for baby'. Dr. Karp's book gets great welcomes from the
people who expect long stretches of alone time from a sleeping baby. I
have heard
many mothers tell me "oh, but if I don't keep him swaddled this way he
wants
to be held and on the breast more often:" A way to quickly calm a baby who
has become disorganized and needs a bit of help to start over should not
have
become a way to keep them quiet and sleeping for hours on end so they feed
less and sleep more. Breastmilk is digested in less than two hours. Why
would we want to encourage longer sleep stretches when babies need to be
fed more
often? The way he forces a baby to accept a pacifier even when the baby
is
signaling no thank you bothers me. The way he teaches how to put a baby in
a swing so you don't have to hold the baby bothers me. The way he
considers
longer sleep stretches for a breastfed baby bothers me. That means the baby
comes to breast not just interested in eating but really very hungry. This
does not seem fair to the baby...to have no ability to signal for feeding,
to
have to wait to be fed longer than he would likely choose because his hands
are swaddled tight and a pacifier is in his mouth. Hunger cues can easily
be
missed. Also, the breast and the comfort of mother is more than food. I
think his book is exactly what most parents want....a task completed, a
baby
down, and their freedom from the care of the baby for as long as possible.
Nothing new...quiet and down is a good baby. I thought we had moved beyond
that
thought process?
I do not doubt that Dr. Karp believes whole heartedly that the best thing
for a baby is to lie quiet and sleep for hours and suck on their binky and
swing
in their swing, etc. I assume his intent is see mothers and fathers find a
way to quiet their crying babies. I just think the best place for a baby
is
in a human's arms, on a human's body, and suckling at a mother's breast at
will. I have no issue with short moments of swaddling for the calming as
long
as the hands are freed and the baby has the freedom to wake himself up or
signal for a feeding without crying. I admit I would rather see a baby
shut down
to being straight-jacketed than scream alone in a crib or be abused. On
the
other hand, I also think most of our colic and fussy babies are symptoms
that should be addressed and not just shut down. I say this as a mom of
two
fussy colicky babies who looking back on it could have used a good
chiropractor
and some cst. Wish I knew then what I know now. I do swaddle my little
ones
lightly so they can choose to be free so I am not of the notion that
swaddling is horrible. Just like I said, hands down with no freedom to get
them
free, no matter how quick a baby shuts down because of it does not seem
natural...and if it is not natural how can it be a 'reflex'? Just the
words 'calming
reflex' do not set well with me.
Yes, I absolutely know I am in the minority. I accept that. Don't really
care if the world thinks this book is the answer to every baby's cry. It's
always good to have a dissenting view.
Take care,
Pam MazzellaDiBosco, IBCLC, RLC
***********************************************
To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]
The LACTNET email list is powered by LISTSERV (R).
There is only one LISTSERV. To learn more, visit:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html
|
