> if we lived in a world where everyone around you clamored to hold the
baby while you did something where holding the baby was "inconvenient"
OH, the perfect world. I must agree, that would be nice. Unfortunately,
this isn't the perfect world and mothers are using the tool they have to
do the job of mothering. Are all these tools ideal? No. But am I going
to give my free advice to every mother I see carrying a baby in a bucket?
No. I see that mother for 2 minutes out of her 24 hour day. Maybe her
baby lives in his bucket, maybe she has been holding, caressing kissing,
etc him all morning. How can I tell?
>
i do give advice to "young" mothers (young in years or young in
>experience)
>that may seem hard or demanding, but it is accurate.
Accurate? That's what Ezzo says too, and Sears, and Spock. And you should
hear some of the things women have said to me while wearing my sling. "I
don't think your baby likes that." "I don't think your baby should be in
there, the positioning looks bad for him." and the worst, "There was a
baby in one of those in the mall last year and he died because he
couldn't breath." This reminds me of a cartoon I saw in a newspaper. A
mom has been given some unsolicited advice on the bus one day. She
replies, "Well thank you for that advice. My lawyer has instructed me to
get the name and address of anyone giving me advice so if it doesn't turn
out well in 18 years I can contact you for compensation."
I think when we believe there is only one accurate, right way to carry,
nurture, grow a baby we fall into the trap of many of our least favorite
parenting "experts." All I am saying is cut some moms some slack. If
you see her carry her baby in the mall in a bucket, don't assume.
> it's a slippery slope. let's excuse mothers of a baby in a bucket by
saying "maybe it is >just a one time thing, she needs to not carry the
baby close to her in a much easier conveyance," or "she doesn't have a
sling, doesn't know about them," etc. if you "believe" in using car
seats, would you excuse a mother who didn't use one "once in a while" or
would you act upon your belief by doing everything possible to help her
see that she *had* to use a car seat, and to help her get one?
This is just silly, I'm not going to compare a lifesaving devise to how
someone carries their baby in the mall.
Carolee Hall
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