Denise,
        I had two similar experiences 6 months apart.  Both parents gave birth to
babies that had a very short time with them.  Both wanted to breastfeed and
both handled their unexpected birth experiences differently.  Both mom's began
pumping after we talked briefly about pumping and what they would most
probably experience.  Couple #1 coped very privately....infact we were all
concerned about them.  She pumped for 1-2 days and then stopped....taking care
of baby was overwhelming once discharged to home.  Couple #2 were very
committed to doing what was best for their little girl....Mom pumped for 3
months and tube fed her daughter until the morning she died.  Two days after
the funeral they wanted to donate their freezer full of milk and any fresh
that she expressed while trying to wean herself.  I will mention #2 in my
classes and find it hard to hold back the tears.  It was very moving.  Couple
#1 just had a healthy girl recently and beamed when nursing her....they still
were very reserved in expressing their feelings.  Couple #2 is expecting this
summer and talk about their little daughter in heaven looking out for the new
baby like a big sister should.
        Give them space and time to deal with this unexpected outcome.  I most often
notice parents are too overwhelmed to even deal with the thought of pumping
until a few days later when they know more about their baby's status.  I give
them information and leave them with the thought that if they decide in a few
days or a week....it is never too late.  This surprises many of them.
Sharon