----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jessica Elston" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, April 27, 2009 7:27 PM
Subject: Re: [LACTNET] fat babies, not healthier ones... and the sippy cup


It becomes
an item of comfort, which is never a good idea to combine with any type of
food or beverage.  Again - a link with obesity?

**Not only for babies... I find it weird that so many young people run 
around with water bottles! As if they can't go a minute without a sip! In 
the Netherlands, tap water quality is extremely good, so you should be able 
to drink water when you are really thirsty all over the place.

It is funny - when I tried to find lidded cups for my kids (I admit, it is
easier to travel if it has a lid), the great majority of ones out there are
the spill free or valve type.  I had to search high and low to find the ones
that had the lid and spout but no valve.  They work great - are much cheaper
- and don't make kids so "dependent"  - kids realize they can drink from any
cup - not just their sippy cup.  We used the cup alone without the lid at
home, then if we needed to take a trip, I just added the lid to help
minimize the spills.

**Right. Kids should learn, in my opinion, that when you turn something 
upside down, a fluid will come out. That is a learning experience, like any 
other experience they will learn from. I never had those type of fences on 
top of the stairs (guided them in using the stairs, they would learn to 
judge the danger, looking in that big hole...), never put away cleaning 
materials (just told them they are dangerous and they should stay away from 
them) and had tea cups and candles and other 'dangerous' and breakable stuff 
standing around in the living room. All of this style was already dear to 
me, but sunk in even deeper after reading Jean Liedloff's book, 'The 
Continuum Concept', or something like that (read it in Dutch, where the 
title is 'In search of the lost happiness', very different). Guiding 
children through their young ages this way takes a looooooot of time, but I 
feel it was well-spent. I'm often amazed at the fact that adults talk to 
their children in such a childisch way, as if they cannot understand what 
the parents are talking about. Ours have always understood what I was 
talking about. Of course, saying things once wasn't always enough; it had to 
be repeated maaaaaany times, but that's all in the game. I always thought it 
was amazing, for example, how they would crawl towards the stairs on their 
knees, sit there, watch the steps and then sit on their bum. I would observe 
them and see how they were thinking about a way to manage going down. They 
*knew* they could not do it in the forward way, as long as they could not 
walk yet, so soon enough, with a little help from me, they would throw 
themselves on their belly and climb down backwards. Absolutely wonderful. 
Quite soon, I did not have to pay attention to them on the stairs; I trusted 
them, because they trusted themselves because I trusted them.
This translated to many other things later on. We often called it 'loving 
neglect' and I still think that is nice terminology. They knew I was there, 
but I wasn't at their backs all the time. There was room to explore and 
therefore room to grow. With tight bonds, letting go is easy, because you 
will always remain together.

Well, subject line doesn't really fit anymore... It's just that the sippy 
cups made me think of the analogy with other learning experiences and how we 
shouldn't treat childeren as if they are fools.

Bye,

Marianne Vanderveen IBCLC, Netherlands (who should be off to bed (0.34), 
because as a presenter, she will have her GOLD09-recording call from 
Australia tomorrow morning! :-))

             ***********************************************

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