The thread in mother and child intimacy reminded me of an experience about
15 years ago.  My family was living in Chiang Mai, Thailand and I was a
fairly visible (blue eyed blond- 5'8" caucasion) mother and La Leche League
Leader.  I belonged to a play group made up of all ex-pat women and our
children.  Most of the women in the group employed "baby maid" and play
group was the only real time these moms spent with their kids. (These
weren't the moms who came to my LLL meetings)  I was tandem nursing- though
was only public with nursing the youngest.  One day I asked one of the moms,
who was pregnant with her second child, if she was planning to breastfeed
this baby.  (Many of these women even took their maids to the hospital with
them to help out with the new born baby).  Her answer was an adamant "no".
She said that she had breastfed her first child for two weeks and was upset
by the intimacy and closeness that she had with the baby. She didn't want to
feel so close and never be able to leave the baby with the baby maid!   So
she weaned and was not going to even try to nurse this baby.  Her feelings
were not at all unusual in this particuar group.  By the way- they were for
the most part, not American but (white) Africans.   So sad.  I was the "odd
ball" becaues I didn't have a baby maid!

Nancy Sherwood- Perth, Australia