Joy highlights a very real dilemma.  The new mothers I work with in hospital 
are desperate for quick-fix, black-and-white answers and rules.  They don't 
like to hear that each baby is unique and that there is no one-size-fits-all 
solution (although I do tell them this on a daily basis!).  I do teach 
calming techniques (firstly KMC, sometimes 5 Ss).  I don't see KMC or the 5 
Ss as a "method" - not the way I explain and show parents anyway.  If baby 
is too distressed to latch it is highly likely that a staff member will give 
formula.  This impacts on mother's confidence etc etc.  Mothers I see later 
in private practice are in a difference learning phase and I also have more 
time to spend with them - my approach is slightly different.

> One of the dilemmas I see with new mothers  - is that anyone learning 
> something new goes through several stages in that learning. The initial 
> phase is the desperate need for a set of rules, so that they can go 
> through the motions and *know* they are doing it 'right'. For this, they 
> need 'methods' and need to do things 'by the book'.
>
> When, as counsellors we try to explain to mothers that every baby and 
> mother is unique and to be wary of one-size-fits-all 'methods', follow 
> your instincts, etc, I am aware that I am leading this mum into a scary 
> area - one without those concrete rules that help her to feel safe in her 
> stage of learning about parenting.
>
> In this context, I see the value of *some* methods and can also clearly 
> understand the attraction of any 'method' to new parents. I try to guide 
> mothers to investigate those methods that I know will do the least harm to 
> breastfeeding and both their psyches in the long term. I am much happier 
> promoting certain authors' books and methods over others, knowing that the 
> former authors are more breastfeeding-friendly and compassionate.

Jean Ridler  RN  RM  IBCLC
South Africa   [log in to unmask]

             ***********************************************

To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]

The LACTNET email list is powered by LISTSERV (R).
There is only one LISTSERV. To learn more, visit:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html