"Recently, I have become
discouraged regarding women not taking charge of their own health, life and
choices. My private term for this is "wimpy women"."

 While it is partially true that people can choose how they react, what they are able to do (for themselves, about their situations, etc.) is also affected by many deep-rooted beliefs, and by things that we don't know about.

You would have to add to your list all of the differences that come from temperament, education, nurturing, religion, and other things that I'll lump under culture, recognizing that the final term is not clear. 

But depression and trauma are certainly causes of psychic fragility. Circumstances can trigger "numbing out"; long-term situations can make a mother paralyzed. Abuse can lock a mother into destructive behaviour.

If we do not believe these affect a mother's choices, then we also don't believe that we can change a mother's behaviour, attitudes, abilities through education. I personally believe that the way a mother nurtures her baby affects her baby's attitudes, temperament, values, etc. We are dealing with several generations of women who were not nurtured at the breast. It would be interesting to do a real study on the women you are describing and their mother's and grandmother's attitudes.

Working with women who seem to be unwilling to change or to help themselves is deeply frustrating. We need to keep telling ourselves that what we are doing is, truly, making a difference. For some of these women, we are the only people who have really tried to support this kind of mothering.

 Jo-Anne Elder-Gomes

             ***********************************************

To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]

The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html