In a message dated 98-02-24 13:18:51 EST, you write:

<< Many of these moms
 are single mothers with little or no support from family/friends and don't
 know what to do to calm down a crying baby at night without offering the
 breast, and they don't want to offer the breast anymore.
 She has found that many times the moms are responding to the toddlers as if
 they are still newborns, so have gotten themselves into a good habit of
 dealing with all of lifes ills with the breast.  (Not a problem in my
 opinion, but they want to stop) >>
This brings up a few things to consider. Toddlers may look big, but in fact
are still much more baby than child. Many still need their moms at night. This
is a toddler thing , not a nursing thing, and it may help to talk about this.
Mothering of toddlers can be exhausting, and if nursing is but one tool of
many, it can be dealt with more easily. Something a mom chooses because it
works best , not because no other options have been tried. What would they
like to offer, a drink of water, a pat on the back? These might work for the
mom who just can't offer the breast as needed anymore, or help determine if it
IS always the answer. Eventually, it won't be. A 15 month old however, still
needs a lot of mom, and sometimes nursing is the developmentally, albeit not
culturally, appropriate answer. These kids are bright, and motivated - they do
what they must to get what they need,( and it may help to explain this as a
need, not a bad habit) and if it is not a negative experience, then night
nursing can be a time of reconnection for moms who are away a lot during the
day. I have to believe that being a single mom is unbelievably difficult. The
trick is to be able to meet the babies needs without the mom feeling totally
overwhelmed, or at least learning that this is a phase of intense change,
regardless of whether the child is nursing or not. Nursing can be one of the
answers; it is not the source of the problem.  Perhaps the books Mothering
Your Nursing Toddler or The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning might help,
along with A Time to Wean, the Breastfeeding Absracts piece by Kathy
Dettwyler..Judy LeVan Fram