Nancy,

I would separate the 2 feeding issues for Mom.

1. She is exhausted & sick.

2. She wants to nourish her 7 wk old.

When similar situations come up, I talk with the
mother about how to focus on the issues first, and
then the solutions.  Otherwise, Mom might jump on a
solution ("formula") only to discover it does not
address the true issue ("I'm exhausted & sick & no
one's taking care of me.  And now I have to make &
feed all these bottles...")  After all, exhausted,
sick mothers have difficulty dissecting the issues &
making this personal decision.  Often well-meaning
relatives are pressuring her with "help", and assume
Bf will be more taxing than it is.  As Pat suggested
in her post, maybe help for the nursing mother is in
order.  Helpers can help Mom nurse rather than show up
occasionally to offer a bottle.  Real helpers make
sure Mom does nothing but nurse and rest.  Real
helpers do absolutely everything else including the
caretaking of the new mother.

In talking with a mother in such a difficult
situation, I will refer to how hard she worked to have
such a happy Bf baby (ie throwing out the original
bottles).  I gently ask a few questions to find out if
she wants help to continue exclusive Bf.  I like to
hear the mother's own words come back: "I really want
to keep Bf but I'm worried about X."  Then I have her
directive to suggest a plan to continue Bf and I know
what the real issue is --  "X."  A good issue to
consider in all such cases is:  How long will Mom have
this challenge?  When is relief in sight?  Sometimes
compromises are in order.  But if I believe her
temporary solution may set her up for bigger problems
down the road, I will share that concern with her.  I
won't make the decision for her but I won't withhold
the very information she came to me to receive.

Every mother, every challenge, differs.  Nancy, I
think the reason this mother pricks your thoughts is
that when she was "well" she clearly was an extremely
dedicated Bf mom.  The fact that she temporarily ill
does not change her long-term plans to nourish and
nurture her child.  You may be one of the few people
in her life in a position to both know that, and act
on it.

Perhaps you have made a followup call.  I agree with
Pat:  Who is taking care of Mom?


Susan Johnson  MFA, IBCLC








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