Barb cole et al. i love the quote (from someone) "better to use the mom as
a pacifier.......than to use the pacifier as a mom !!!"

 on a more realistic note i know that babies need to suck (as evidenced by
ultrasound) for comfort as well as nourishment, i've read how heart rates
lower breathings' slower and deeper ( better saturation of o's) seen in
nicus. but in order to allow physiologic rather than artificial
sucking/soothing "without wearing the new mom" out i suggest that dad
(dad's better because his thumb's bigge,r kinda like a breast !) use their
washed "count to 100 while scrubbing"  thumbs (with the nail trimmed close)
and flip the wrist (kinda like you're going to suck it yourself--tap the
baby's bottom lip or chin until the jaw drops open wide--kinda like "a baby
bird" or a "wide mouth bass" (dad's like that and can relate) "lay your
nail bed down on the baby's tongue and lightly stroke the tongue, if the
baby wants to suck, he will draw dad's thumb "all the way to the soft
palate" AND THEY DO NOT GAG OR CHOKE. It amazes every one how deep they can
take dad's thumb (to the first knuckle with EASE).....i have parents
"finger feed" this way (and have for 3+ years) at our hospital and these
kids, premies too! can open widely enough to some of the
biggest/flattest/inverted nipples.

         look now at your thumb and see how close it is to the amount of
breast a baby must take in when they do it right.....

BETTER YET i have the parents trim the baby's nails (i do this service in
the nursery & no miss cuts in 20 years) and help the baby suck on his whole
clenched fist. you can elicit the same reflex response by tapping the
baby's fist on the bottom lip--amazing ! i try to think how would a baby
soothe himself if he lived in a time when artificial pacifiers were not
mass produced, before early man could fashion tools. i'm sure they used
hides, bones or river polished rocks, but if it was dark and you couldn't
find a toy (like in the womb), what would you use if you were a bored or
stressed fetus ??????? whatever you can get to stay in your mouth !!!!maybe
thats why some baby's are tongue suckers, they are resourceful when they
can't get their hand to their mouth...
        I tell parents to let their baby suck on their own fist, help them
even. now look at a baby's profile when they are sucking on their whole
fist. Looks like a baby correctly latched on ****see Best Feeding by Chloe
Fisher CNM
        I've noticed that baby's who can latch onto a fist make GREAT
NURSERS even on LARGE inverted nipples. Baby's can find their fists when
everyone's asleep....
        Lastly when any one says to me there's NO SUCH THING AS NIPPLE
CONFUSION  How come we get these babys who suck GREAT on a bottle or DUMMIE
but refuse to latch on to mom or HOW ABOUT THE BOTTLE FED BABY that rejects
ALL BUT ONE STYLE NIPPLE or PACIFIER! Any one who's worked any time in a
nursery knows that some days a desperate dad comes up to the nursery
BEGGING FOR THAT SPECIAL PACIFIER THEY DON"T SELL AT WALMART (ie ROSS ) NUK
what have you...or the baby that CAN"T GET MILK OUT OF A
HEALTHFLOW....Hmmmmmm I thought ALL BABIES SUCKED THE SAME
yes i'm shouting i even know "BABY FRIENDLY" lactation consultants who
trained like me at UCLA and Swear there's no such thing as nipple
confusion...."DAMN semantics" either a baby takes it well or it
doesn't...yes, some baby's are flexible just like some adults are and "some
are not" just like some adults are inflexible . Problem is, babys don't
have labels to which one is flexible...would a "caring nurse" who believes
in choices, risk that any baby might refuse to breastfeed and  be stuck
with no choice at the breast because mom can only take so much rejection,
when they have little (at best) support when they go home to a family that
only knows how to bottle feed and use pacifiers ?