Nikki and all,
Nikki - we have never met in person. In all that I "hear" from you on the
internet and Lactnet however I have come to highly respect you. I see you as
one of those wise experts on Lactnet.
However, I think you are coming to this discussion with some bias (which is
good) but perhaps not fully exploring it yourself. As I said I was HIGHLY
skeptical of Karp and his methods. I did NOT want to like HBOTB and figured
it was just one more way a man was trying to tell women how to raise their
babies, another man trying to tell women how to breastfeed, how to comfort,
how to mother. NO THANK YOU!
Please actually read the book, watch the video, speak with educators. Visit
a class if you can. Karp actually had an entire chapter on babywearing in
the book. It was cut. I don't know why and I don't know why he didn't fight
to keep it, you'd have to ask him. He may share it with you if you ask. I
know there are people with copies of it. He is a supporter of babywearing.
On page 156 of the book he has a list of 10 ways to use motion for a fussy
baby (see, he offers TOOLS like this throughout the book - not just one
prescribed method). The FIRST one listed is baby slings and carriers. At
least 5 of the 10 require that you are physically holding your baby. He
talks on pgs 154-56 about our ancestors and in many countries today that
babies were/are strapped on all day and kept in constant motion. He explains
how in America we have been warned not to touch our babies too much and that
by the 1920s parents were afraid to admit to holding their infants. He goes
on to say that babies LOVE carriers and while it was odd to sling your baby
in the 70's that now it is odd for a mom not to "wear her baby".
I paraphrased that segment. You can read it yourself. Are those the words of
"Technology versus heart, method versus feelings and discovery"?
In the part explaining sucking he goes on and on about sucking at the
breast. How the term "milky way" come from the belief that the goddess Juno
sprayed milk from her breasts creating the stars, that babies are "designed"
to eat often and that frequent, all day feeding is NORMAL. He both
encourages mothers to breastfeed "normally" and gives "permission" to not
have a baby at the breast ALL DAY if they need a break. Not all mothers are
like us Lactnetters - they want to breastfeed but by god, they need an hour
or two between feedings for some sanity. Is it wrong for them to soothe
their baby in another way, even if their healthy, weight-gaining, fat baby
prefers to suck on the breast (soothing not eating) but mom needs a break?
The sleep chapter has points such as:
The Truth about putting your baby on a schedule and Cosleeping: The natural
way to sleep (but it's not for everyone).
In a light-hearted way he tells parents that scheduling is a modern
invention, for parents NOT for babies. Babies can't read clocks. Direct
quote: "The bottom line is that your job as a parent is to adapt t the needs
of your newborn, not the other way around."
He talks about safe co-sleeping at length, references James Mckenna's work
and even talks about how cosleeping has been the standard until recent
history. On the other hand he says not to feel guilty if you choose not to
cosleep. The other option he mentions is the baby in a cradle or bassinet by
your bed. NO MENTION of a crib down the hall or in another room. So this is
a man who is advocating "detachment"?
He also warns about overheating during swaddling on pages 121-22,
131-32,199, 226-27. Swaddling is NOT primarily for making babies sleep or
even calming them. It "gives nurturing touch, stops flailing, and focuses
your baby's attention". On page 112 he says, "Please don't misunderstand me,
it's fine to let your infant have her hands out so she can suck on her
fingers - as long as she's happy."
Does that sound like someone who is hell-bent on one way? I understand what
he is saying b/c my babies were always freaked out by their own hands.
I don't know that I will be able to write any more on the subject or that it
is even appropriate. We are surely getting off into off-topic land. I have
two very busy weeks ahead. I just wanted to make sure we are all reading the
same book. I guess perhaps we are just interpreting it differently.
Blessings,
Micky
www.mochamilk.blogspot.com
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