I've had a some interesting interactions this week that have driven home to
me again how hard it is sometimes to understand what drives the decisions
other people make.
I did a joyful 6 month check up today for a gorgeous baby boy. His mama is
a 19 year old woman who seemed very immature throughout her prenatal care.
The 2 conversations about breastfeeding I had with her ended pretty much
with her saying "Ooh, gross, that's disgusting." She giggled through most
visits, hardly ever asked a question, seemed scared to death of birthing or
parenting. Then, she showed up in labor looking like a poster woman for
natural childbirth. She was so strong and capable and amazing. She grabbed
up her baby right after delivery and put him to breast. "I decided to
breastfeed" she said. I took some time to pick my jaw up off the floor, but
got it together in time to support her! Today, her gorgeous baby is a
chubby, exclusively breastfed 6 month old! And she is one of the most
together, in tune moms I have in my practice. I have no idea how this
transformation happened - except that I found out her mom nursed her and her
brother until the were preschool age. Apparently this must have rubbed off
somewhere?
But today, I also had an odd conversation with a different woman.
Throughout pregnancy, she asked a lot of questions about breastfeeding,
borrowed books, talked with our nurse who's training as an LC (Beth),
borrowed videos (including the self-attachment video) She had her baby last
night, complicated by a long drawn out labor, and a postpartum hemorrhage.
She did put baby to breast twice last night, however then sent baby to
nursery and insisted he have a bottle. This morning, she told the day nurse
that she's just not interested in breastfeeding, she doesn't intend to do
it, and that Dr. T and Beth were just trying to force her into it! I asked
her what would make her say that, and she said yesterday she just felt too
ill to try to breastfeed. I reminded her that now that she's feeling
better, she could still put baby to breast, and that she has available the
world's perfect food to feed a human infant, but it's her choice whether she
wants to give it to him. She's says maybe she'll try later. I called this
evening to check on her bleeding, and the nurses say her baby has had
bottles all day. I'm mystified by this one, too. Why would someone who
seemed so interested and eager prior to birth so adamently not want to even
try after?
I remind myself again and again that it is not my job to make people do what
I think is best. All I can do is provide information and support and try.
But jeez, I wish I understood where people are coming from sometimes!
Jennifer Tieman
Family Physician
Mom to 4, including my toddler nursling Caroline Rose
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