In a message dated 8/21/2003 5:18:36 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
> she does not want her son to remember. Have you seen other moms give this
> reason for wanting to wean?
>
And then, the issue of gender. Are girls breastfed longer because of their
gender? Does a mother feel it is less "sexual" to breastfeed a daughter? Does
the public frown more on a breastfeeding toddler boy than on a breastfeeding
toddler gril?
i regret to say that this has been my experience with the moms i work with
all too often. it is one of the few situations i am just at a loss about how to
'educate' a mom into overcoming. one mom nursed her son for 9 mos, noticed he
had an erection and weaned him cold turkey. now she has a daughter, 1 yo. she
just weaned her at 1 yr b/c 'that's how long my ped said to breastfeed.' it's
very funny i read this post today b/c i not only worked with this mom through
the bfing program at the hospital, but i became friends with her through a
playgroup. today she and i went to a water park. i nursed my 2 yo son for his
nap. she recalled the offensive erection her son had at 9 mos and asked if i've
ever noticed the same. i replied that there's hardly a time my boys DON'T have
a "bery funny big guyguy standing up!" when they nurse. she seemed to be
horrified and fascinated at the same time that i really didn't find this to be
unhealthy. as we talked, her 1 yo noticed my 2 yo nursing an she began to fondle
and pat her mom's breasts. she laid her cheek on them and tried to kiss one. i
joked that she really isn't weaned and wanted to nurse, too. my friend
responded that she thinks the 1 yo might be old enough to r/m later in life and she
didn't think that would be right. i asked if the baby were really really
begging to nurse, if she would consent. she asked me if she would even have any
milk. i said it might not matter, she may just want the comfort of suckling and
r/ming the sheer bliss of nursing. she said she might consider it if the baby
really seemed to need it. i asked if her son was 1 yo would she do the same. she
said absolutely not in a million years. funny how that one teeny tiny member
becoming "happy" traumatized a grown woman like this. :-(
i also think it's odd how other women telling me the same thing seem to feel
they might engender sexually premature or even incestuous feelings in their
male opffspring but never consider for a minute they might do the same for their
daughters. following their logic, why don't they worry they will "make" their
daughters more likely to be lesbians? so, to sum it up, yes in my experience
moms are uncomfortable nursing boys past a certain age and they do nurse their
girls longer and they do think it's less sexual to nurse a daughter. i have
no idea what the public thinks is more obscene and probably don't want to know
since i'm still nursing my 3.5 yo and 2 yo sons!
i almost forgot to add: i was raised by a family from mexico and the father
of the household was nursed to 5 years. he was teased unmercifully and his own
wife never even considered bfing her babies. he allowed her to make that
choice w/out objecting. once she found another woman bfing her infant daughter and
she actually took the baby to a hospital and wanted the baby's stomach pumped!
definitely a marriage of 2 ends of the bfing spectrum there. anyway, he once
told me his memories of bfing were wonderful and his strongest memory of his
mother is the smell of her skin - that he can smell it as clear as day even
now. he gets ridiculed by the rest of the family, so he doesn't talk about it
very often, but i have always r/m'd he said that and wanted my babies to r/m me
like that after i'm gone! boy OR girl.
"bobo, what are you doing to deedle?"
"pankin him butt, mumma"
"bobo, we don't spank in this house"
"ony pank him outside, mumma?"
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