Have permission to post – rec’d EXTENSIVE e-mails from a friend and am looking for anything to guide and support her and her attny.  I’ll apologize in advance for the “book” but I’m not sure what to put in and what to take out – courts are not my strong suit… esp since my only involvement in a dispute such as this resulted in truly AWFUL judicial decisions that led to the abuse and ultimate death of a precious 2 ½ yr old girl while in the custody of her step-monster, and that trial is set to start in <2 weeks.  So clearly, receiving this e-mail from my friend right now has set me on a bit of an emotional roller coaster!!   Thanks in advance for your comments!
Jillian Malan, IBCLC, Michigan

Parents – never married, not living together at baby’s birth, agreed on no vaxing and extended breastfeeding.  Mom has sole physical custody, Dad has visitation, and they share joint legal custody.

Dad & Attny – Allege that Mom is causing Baby Boy’s developmental delays and anxiety by “attempting to keep him a baby and continuing to nurse him.”  They say she is “medically endangering” Baby Boy by her “bizarre life style choices” – ie: extended nursing and not vaxing.  In court the attny said Mom’s continued nursing is “disgusting” and that Mom is continuing the nursing relationship as a way of obtaining “sexual satisfaction” from her child.  They are claiming Mom shouldn’t have physical or legal custody.

Baby Boy – 28 mos old, nurses ~6x/day and is unvaxed.  He was night weaned between 18 and 24 mos but recently wants night nursing again but is “settling” for bed-sharing.  He is totally non-verbal and is in early intervention through the public schools.  He also suffers from extreme separation anxiety, some other emotional issues, and has some emerging sensory integration problems.  He’s been seen by Easter Seal’s Infant Mental Health program as well as another program and both of them attribute his emotional issues to overnight separation before he was ready, with a father whom he did not know/see for ~9 months.  They also suspect neglect during paternal visitation.

On Vaxing – There is significant history of vaccine injury and compromised immune systems on both sides of the family – including Mom herself.  The Pediatrician will not vax unless both parents are in agreement and Dad refuses to take part in a discussion with the Ped on the risks/value of vaxing Baby Boy.

They’ve just had their 3rd court date in <1 year on the breastfeeding, non-vaxing, and the custody issue again and the judge appointed a Guardian Ad Litem for Baby Boy.  Per Mom: “Part of the reason the judge ordered the GAL is because there is clearly no way we can continue to have joint legal custody, because <Baby Boy's> father will not communicate with me at all, but <Judge> doesn't want to be the one to severe his legal custody without an outside recommendation…”

Her attny is recommending she wean before the GAL completes his/her investigation, but given the challenges Baby Boy is already facing, she feels that is definitely not in his best interest.

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