I've spoken to teachers of infant massage who have reported that with some
moms they need to START with just having the baby fully dressed in front of
the mom - not on her lap - and massaging gingerly THROUGH the clothes.  The
acceptance of a mom in THAT stage allows her to move to more skin to skin as
the sessions progress - but forcing a mom to remove her infant's clothes and
massage, only makes her unwilling to come a second time...

Many of us have had to deal with infants who, for whatever reason, are on a
nursing strike - and at times in order to get the baby back to the breast we
have to start with SITTING on mom's lap, fully clothed, then gradually
moving to the breastfeeding position , then gradually allowing more and more
skin contact until finally allowing to be against the breast and near the
nipple.  The Breastfeeding Answer Book has all these stages listed, and I go
back to their list every time so that the moms know this HAS happened to
other mothers and it can usually be overcome.

We need to give the moms as much respect as we give these babies!  If they
are not ready for skin to skin, we need to allow that and work with her at
the level she can handle.  We are NOT going to be able to fix their trauma
in a few visits (in fact, I used to work in a prenatal clinic and learned
that I wasn't going to fix this in a few MONTHS of contact, either) but if
we handle the situation well, the baby will benefit from whatever levels we
can help the mother reach...

It's similar to one day of breastfeeding is better than none, and one week
better than one day...etc.

Jeanette Panchula, BSW, RN, PHN, IBCLC
California, USA

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