At 08:07 96/01/11 -0800, Marie wrote:
>I would like to gently add my voice to Melissa's. Breastfeeding is a uniquely
>mothering activity like pregnancy. It is a kind of extention of pregnancy. I
>agree with Melissa that a mother's role is different from Dad - especially in
>the early years. Some Dads seem threatened by this somehow. I would like to
>add that I am a feminist and not a traditionalist. I really feel that this
>unique difference is part of the essence of what makes women powerful.
>Believing that it doesn't matter who feeds the baby insidiously undermines
>that unique power. It is amazing that we can make milk that is specifically
>suited to this particular baby at this particular moment. As I type this, I
>am nursing my 18 month old through the flu. She is getting exactly what she
>needs right now. SHE influences and regulates the amount and content - so it
>is also a matter of baby empowerment.
>
>The baby has so much more power in a breastfeeding (as opposed to a
>breastMILK feeding) relationship. In general, I think this is the problem
>with feeding EBM without actually nursing. Although EBM is MUCH better than
>the other stuff, the baby and Mom miss out on the other aspects of
>breastfeeding when the substance is emphasized over the process. In order to
>breastfeed, Mom and baby have to become comfortable being very intimate. They
>become a dyad that is much more intricate and reciprocal than a simple
>feeding relationship. The baby is a much more active participant.

Hi, Marie,

Are we both talking about the same thing?  I suggested letting dad feed EBM
for the overnight feeding, after 6 - 8 weeks.  Do you really think one
bottle a day
after BF is firmly established is a threat to the mom-baby relationship?  I
would
have considered it a way to help it, by letting mom sleep through the night.
(As
it turned out, it wasn't a problem for my wife, who learned fairly quickly
to nurse
in bed without really waking up.)

With regard to your being a feminist rather than a traditionalist, is there
really a
dichotomy?  My impression of feminism was that it opposed the (relatively
recent)
excesses incident to the industrial revolution.  If this is so, going back
to the way
things were in the farther past should be considered more traditional than
trying
to follow the ways of our century.

Jonathan (Dad to Sammy 25 Nov. 1988)

Dinosaurs are extinct, ostriches aren't.  Moral: Bury your head in the sand.