So you think a brand new baby knows that crying = mommy or daddy coming? I
don't think babies are born knowing that. If they are consistently responded
to, they learn (crying, cooing, making noise etc = adult attention to my
needs) that quickly. That is what we WANT them to learn. He says that in his
book and educators are supposed to say that in the class! It BECOMES
communication but does not start off that way.

I guess I have seen too many babies mine included that scare the crud out of
themselves with free arms. Between the moro reflex and hitting themselves in
the face, free hands and hands up when swaddled wake up a sleeping baby or
make a calm baby cry. NOT ALL babies, maybe just super sensitive ones. I was
REALLY disturbed by the arms down swaddle at first, until I understood why
and saw it in action and practiced it myself. It made me realize my children
were not freaks for having hands that did more to disturb them then comfort
them in the early weeks.

We could argue all day about the stretching feedings thing. I stress over
and over when I talk to parents about feeding an average of 8-12 times/every
2 hrs, sometimes, more, sometimes less, sometimes every hour at first,
taking your cue from the baby. As Jack Newman and others have pointed out if
the baby is on the breast CONSTANTLY but not getting milk, not drinking, he
will come off the breast and still be hungry. I watch for that. But
sometimes you have a baby that just wants to be on mom's body 24/7 and is
not happy anywhere else. I am willing to provide that but for moms who just
need a shower or a meal or a few minutes baby free without crying - a
swaddled, shushed, sidelying hour with daddy (who feels empowered because he
can keep his precious baby from crying) in between every two hour feedings
WILL NOT lead to a decreased milk supply. For some babies it is the only way
to even get to every two hours. (No I am not saying to restrict a baby to
every 2 hours.) And for some desperate, frazzled parents that is the only
way to continue breastfeeding. Some parents won't use Bach Flower Remedies
or CST or cant find those things/providers. If the baby is already sleeping
all the time why would you use it? I don't know how parents are getting
hungry avid feeders to go long stretches using HBOTB because in my limited
experience, it DOESN'T work if the baby is hungry. Period. A baby who sleeps
that long without eating has bigger problems anyway.

I don't know what Dr. Karp's breastfeeding knowledge is but you make a big
assumption that he doesn't understand cue feeding and the use of baby's hands.


I am not sure that anything would convince someone who doesn't like it to
like it. I don't know what type of research or statistics would prove it to
those who think it is fundamentally wrong. I don't like it "because it
works". I have read his ideas behind it, and I agree with much of it,
disagree with some but I see the merit. Just as anything else in this field,
there are things that people agree and disagree with - ways to latch a baby
on, hands off help, hands on, positioning, language, benefits vs, risk
language, yada, yada. 

One last thing, I had a homebirth, short labor (arguably maybe part of the
problem, but it is my pattern) and am experienced and supported in
breastfeeding, practice babywearing, attachment parenting, use a
Chiropractor, know and use baby massage, use natural products, eat well,
etc., etc. I still had a baby who cried, was in pain and needed to be
soothed. He was medicated, adjusted and constantly held and given the S's.
He didn't cry or remain unhappy because I wasn't meeting his needs or trying
to. I wasn't missing his cues. At about 4-5 months the cloud lifted and he
became a MUCH happier baby. He still cries in the car to the point of
vomiting and wants to be on me all the time but he is a different baby. The
only thing that truely helped him was time. Maybe one day I will learn of an
ailment that he had that I didn't know about but I did the best I could with
the knowledge I had. Until you have had to live with a baby that can not be
calmed and cries, screams when you attempt to breastfeed or calm them, it is
impossible to know how heartbreaking it is for everyone involved. I now have
a much greater compassion for those mothers who I just thought weren't doing
something right or were not willing to comfort their babies as they needed.

And thanks Coach Smith for your words. You always speak with so much wisdom!
You are one of my heroes.


Blessings,
Micky

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