I'm glad that this thread has come up.  When I watched it I, too, wondered
about the lack of assistance for the baby.  I'm sure that most mothers
would assist in some way.  However, I have considered what a self-affirming
first action it would be for a baby to make her way to the breast and latch
on for that first feed.  I think that it would instill a "CAN DO" attitude
in the little one that would last a lifetime.

This, in contrast to the vacuum extraction and, if she's "lucky," brought
to mom's breast and put on.

The self attachment reminds me of a story I heard concerning letting a
child do what she *can* do,  It was a Native American setting, large room
with many adults and children.  One small child wanted to close the large,
heavy door.  Everyone sat calmly while he struggled for quite a while,
growing frustrated, until he finally got it closed.  A visitor was troubled
by their not helping him. But the group knew the importance of not helping
too much and too quickly, as the little one strengthened his self confidence.

One of my hardest tasks as a mother has been to know when to assist and
when to let the child "make her own way" to her goal, regardless of the
struggle. I usually erred on the side of too much assistance. My daughters
have had to call me on it often.  Like when Lia told me that she would
rather get lost a dozen times in Milwaukee than to have me tell her which
lane to get into off the freeway so that she could easily make her next
exit.  She did get lost often--at first.

So, the little one who makes her way to the breast could do with a *little*
assist by mom, but she might see the world differently if allowed to get
there mostly by herself.

If I had it all to do over.....I would do it the same way I did the first
time. :) It's just my way.

Once Lia was telling me of her problems and how they were "caused" by my
parenting choices.  I was feeling awful, but she then told me that if I had
done differently, she would just have *different* problems and she likes
the ones she has. :)  :)

I'm rambling.  I just wanted to share some wonderings about the baby's
journey to the "summit."

Patricia Gima, IBCLC
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Upper Midwest, USA
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