I think that the answer to this is to provide lots of information about what
has worked and what has not for mothers and to be honest, "this works for
some and not for others." Literature that says that this works for everyone
is just as bad IMO as literature that says that this won't work so don't
bother trying.  The other thing that I think that we need to be wary of is
trying to protect mothers from being disappointed or hurt. If a mum has
really wanted to breastfeed her baby and despite her best efforts it has not
worked out how she wanted to she has a right to grieve and it's important
that she be allowed to grieve. It is also important that women be allowed to
try, that they don't have any regrets of wondering "what if"
Karleen Gribble
Australia


> Where do we "draw the line" in realistic expectations and unrealistic
hopes?
> If you plant the idea that "every woman can do this," how do we balance
> realistic expectations versus unrealistic hopes?
>
> In this area, I am blessed with numerous mothers who want to breastfeed
> their babies with cleft palates/lips. In 10 years, I have had contact with
> over 20 mothers with cleft-affected babies. The literature is very
hopeful,
> "If you try hard enough, your baby will be able to breastfeed" which
leaves
> many a mother feeling very sad if her baby was not able to latch and
> breastfeed. (which has been the case, more often than not)
>
> The literature is very positive, but realistically? The mothers get very
> hopeful, and then when it doesn't happen, they are almost desperate. They
> feel like they haven't tried hard enough, they feel badly that they have
to
> supplement, they are angry that the literature tells them if they try hard
> enough they can do it, and they've tried really hard! I feel this sets
them
> up for a tremendous let-down, because at least around here (no physician
> support, medicated deliveries, premature inductions) the babies are
starting
> off at a deficit.
>
> Should we not tell them that this may not happen, or do we let them find
out
> for themselves?
>
> Still learning,
> Heather "Sam" Doak
> Marietta Ohio

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