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Subject:
From:
T Pitman <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sun, 13 May 2001 21:27:01 -0400
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I think Judy hit an important point when she talked about the fear of
intimacy with a baby that many people have as a barrier to breastfeeding. I
interviewed a mother recently who said to me that her baby "had no sense of
boundaries." She saw her baby's desire to be close to her all the time as
almost an aggressive act - the way you would feel about an adult who was
always "in your face." This was quite stunning to me, because my babies felt
almost like part of my body for a very long time. The closeness and intimacy
I shared with them through breastfeeding was something I cherished (and
still cherish). I have never known another person as thoroughly as I knew my
children when they were small, and I believe that deep intimacy is the basis
of our still-strong and close relationships today.

Another point to add here: I heard Oprah's guru Phil McGraw (I think I have
the name right) in an interview with someone else. He described how his wife
wanted to have a baby, and he didn't, but he agreed on the condition that
she didn't change anything about their relationship. He said many marriages
are damaged when children arrive and he was determined that wouldn't happen
to theirs. So his wife promised, and when the baby arrived they continued to
do things just as they had before. He didn't mention how the baby was fed,
but since they were going out together (sans baby) so often I can't imagine
breastfeeding was part of the picture. He was quite clear that he saw this
as very positive; it made me feel very sad.

Teresa Pitman
Guelph, Ontario

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