Hello

Many moons ago when I was an active LLLL, my husband told me of a
conversation he overheard between two women in the staff lounge at work.

One said, "I saw the worst thing yesterday.  A child in a stroller in the
mall, she must have been at least two and a half, with a soother stuck in
her mouth!!" Her companion was suitably horrified.

My husband, well indoctrinated by me, leaned into the conversation and
said, "Babies have a need to suck for years and if allowed to wean
themselves will nurse to about three and a half."

"That was the olden days," the woman said.

"Babies haven't changed," he replied, "Just the grown ups!"

I have found that there is little tolerance for babies to be babies whether
breast or bottle-fed.  2, 3, and 4 year olds are discouraged
(understatement) from thumb sucking or using bottles or soothers.

When parents ask about how long to breastfeed I usually ask about the
oldest nursing child they know of - their response is always a good
indication of their feelings on the topic.

I usually suggest that they not make any decisions ahead of time.  Usually
I say that most mothers find that they grow into the relationship with
their own child.  Sometimes I say that I never expected to be sleeping with
an older man but after many years of marriage - here I am. Sometimes I tell
the above story.  Sometimes I tell them about how I ask my 5yo niece when
she was going to quit sucking her thumb and she answered, "When my daddy
quits smoking!"

I hope to plant a seed and that the parents will see their children's needs
as something that must be filled, whatever their comfort is... :)

Joy