I remember when I was a clinical nurse specialist on a big hospital unit
and teaching pediatric nursing, how difficult it was to get student nurses
to understand that their "patient" was a mother-baby, or better yet, a
family unit.  As caregivers, we want to form a relationship with a baby or
a child.  All the good feelings of helping, making a difference with the
loving care that we give, are tied up in this.  Students and staff nurses
felt very good when an ill baby or young child smiled just for them, or
responded to their care with visible affection.  It was troubling to me to
see how easy it was for caregivers to become rivals with parents for the
child's affection.  I felt that sometimes when staff urged a mother to go
down to the cafeteria or go home for the night, or otherwise take a break
from staying with the hospitalized child, some of this rivalry was going
on.  Sometimes people would become quite annoyed with parentsa who wouldn't
leave.  I always felt it important to let parents take the lead, and that
when they were comfortable enough with the caregivers to leave to meet
their own needs, they would do so.  (Of course, assuming that the
environment is a safe and supportive one with adequate staffing).  It was
very hard to get staff and students to see their "patient" as the family
unit, and to take pride in caring for them in a way that supported and
strengthened that unit rather than inserting themselves between mother and
child.  It takes a level of maturity and self confidence to do this - to
help the parent meet the child's needs and feel the warmth of doing so
successfully, rather than taking that good feeling for ourselves.

I know this is not articulated very clearly.  But could some of this be
going on with the nursery nurses vs the new mothers also?

Anne Altshuler, RN, mS, IBCLC in Madison, WI