Jonathan,
The "harm" in dad taking the middle of the night nursing and feeding ebm is
that prolactin levels are highest during night nursings.  Replacing the
sucking then with pumping earlier in the day could reduce the milk supply,
reduce the fat content of the milk, and interfere with the suppression of
ovarian function (infertility and lactational amenorrhea.)  If dad wants to
give an EBM bottle, I usually suggest it be the one immediately before dinner,
if mom is the family cook.  This is usually the most frazzled time of day for
moms.
        I understand your "left out" feelings, they are common in this
culture.  Research and personal experience confirm this.  We need to value
Daddys for their role in expanding baby's horizons, rather than have him be a
carbon copy of mommy, IMHO.
Catherine Watson Genna, IBCLC  NYC  [log in to unmask]