I'm a bit late on the hug thread [have been on call in the NICU].

Kathy - I have to admit I'm surprised you haven't spoken up on the  hug
issue - maybe  you sense the hug's importance to the  hugger like Pat had
mentioned.
Perhaps this suggestion belongs in the "little white lie club" book, but  I
think it helps to refuse something offered very sincerely on terms that the
"offerer" can understand.  Such as: "I'll have to pass on the hugs,  I've
found they trigger my nausea."
Nausea.  That's something that heme/onc workers understand.


I'm just about the only doc that I know that hugs.  The  usual circumstances
are the new cancer diagnosis of someone's child, the "there's nothing  more
that we can do for your child" discussion, and after a child has died.  The
parents of children  who  have died often greet me with a hug, even years
later. It's meaningful in  the right situations.  [My six year old asked me
after a particularly hug filled week "Mommy, don't you wish you had a NICE
job?"]

I've worked with a few  teary new breastfeeding moms, but it has been more a
matter of offering a box of  hospital tissues [too small to blow your nose
well after you've been crying] and mentioning that lots of moms  feel
overwhelmed at first [you  get  nodding] and waiting for the moment to pass.

Gail Hertz, MD, IBCLC

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