Elisheva says, speaking of Babywise:

<< And please, when you mention the book to others, add some mention of
 stooling to those "getting enough" recommendations!    A baby that is peeing
 enough will not die of dehydration, but she can still starve to death, and
 pretty quick, too.
  >>

I would hope that no one would have occasion to recommend this book to
others.  What is good in the book, is not unique and can be found in other,
less controversial sources.  Needing to "schedule" higher order multiples may
be a matter of understanding your own AND your babies' needs.  But using the
principles of BW to do it can be potentially dangerous to babies unless you
know your mothers WELL.  What is unique in these books are NOT good.  One of
the major problems with this book is that it places ALL babies into a box
with no understanding of the uniqueness of that baby and that mother and that
family.  It's all well and good to imply that smart parents can take the good
and spit out the bad in this book -- but smart parents have been taken in by
the spurious promises of sleeping through the night and compliant obedient
children.  Please, please do not recommend these books to anyone.  Feel free
to read them if you are not familiar with them -- I suggest you borrow them
as to not put any more money into the Growing Families International coffers.


While there have been a few changes over the years to bring the
recommendations more in line with "mainstream" understanding of lactation
principles, never forget that the book pans lactation consultants by telling
the parents that we do not understand that there is a "basic paradigm shift
in the industry" and that "lactation consultants, by virtue of their training
in attachment parenting do not have an understanding of routine lactation
management principles."  (Not an exact quote -- don't have the book right in
front of me).

If you have a parent who is stressed out by demand feeding, then you have a
responsibility to help her figure out how she can better meet the needs of
her child/ren and not be so stressed.  If you have babies that are stressed
out and shutting down because of scheduled feeds, you have a responsibility
to that mother/baby dyad to help her figure out how to better meet the baby's
needs.  Recognizing the uniqueness of families and how to approach their
parenting skills is one of the things that IBCLCs and breastfeeding advocates
can do best.  We are the ones that truly listen to these mothers -- or at
least I hope we do.  And I hope we are flexible in meeting the needs of our
clients.

Any parenting program that ends up with depressed, anorexic babies, slow
weight gain, feeding tubes, and failure to thrive as a result of that program
should be universally panned by our profession.  And that is true of the
Preparation for Parenting/Babywise programs.  Or ANY program that treats all
mothers and babies as though they are identical, and that can potentially
lead to problems.

Attachment parenting means to learn about your baby, and meet the needs of
this particular individual in relationship with you and your family.  It
doens't mean "don't discipline."  It doesn't mean letting your child run
amock.  It doesn't mean that there is no routine in your home.  It doesn't
mean you are, as Babywise defines it, "feeding every two hours around the
clock for 2 years."  It doesn't mean putting the baby to the breast every
time he/she whimpers without determining what the baby's needs are.  It
doesn't mean blindly, slavishly following a "program."

But BW states that "These principles have worked for thousands of parents,
and WHEN FAITHFULLY APPLIED will work for you."  The meaning behind it is,
"if you run into problems, it is YOUR fault, not the fault of the program or
the writings in the book."  And Gary Ezzo has said that -- in fact, just said
it again on the BBC program when he was interviewed by Jeremy Paxman in the
UK.

I better stop -- because I could go on about this and the dangers of this
program, this book, and these principles for a long time.  And the feeding
issues are merely the tip of the iceburg.

Jan Barger, RN, MA, IBCLC

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