Hi Connie:

The birth of baby number 2, the little boy, sounds like a very common birth
story for a 2nd twin. Because it's not unusual for the 2nd baby's umbilical
cord to prolapse along with his feet (when a breech), it often becomes
necessary to take hold of those feet and get the baby out quickly! (He
couldn't "engage" in Mom's pelvis until his sister was out, which is more
likely to make for problems, e.g. cord accidents for 2nd or 3rd multiples.)
However, taking those feet and "pulling" a baby out often is less "traumatic"
for a 2nd or 3rd multiple, because multiples tend to be smaller so she/he
passes through more easily--and it's definitely less traumatic than getting
no oxygen through a prolapsed cord!

Could the "bump" on his neck be something the pedi missed--sure, but the mom
needs to go back to the pedi with it. Sounds like you made some good
suggestions re: breastfeeding and coping with it if it's causing him pain
when held. Reinforce how well he basically is doing. He will improve as he
matures.

The big issue may be that the mother is trying to fit two different square
pegs in the same round hole re: feeding schedule. (Or # 1 may be a round peg
in a round hole, but square peg # 2 still can't fit.) These are fraternal
twins and no more alike than any two sibs in terms of genetics for body
clocks, feeding patterns, etc. Boy-girl sets tend to be the most different
about those things. One may truly need only 8, 10-minute daily feedings while
the other truly needs 12, 25-minute feedings to gain weight appropriately.
I'd say, this MOT might also want to read ch. 10, 12, 13, & 14 of MM when she
sits down to nurse one at a time.

Please let this mom know that while individual feedings may often be
necessary or more helpful now--while her son is learning and needing to eat
more often than his sister--in a few weeks or months, she may be able to
increase the number of, or completely do, simultaneous feedings. She may need
to be reminded that what she is doing now to coordinate breastfeeding is
different than what will work in the days, weeks or months to come. IT IS
VERY DIFFICULT TO DEVELOP THIS PERSPECTIVE WHEN CARING FOR TWO BABIES. Right
now, each day may seem an eternity to her. Imagining days to months ahead may
seem impossible, unless someone else brings that to her. BTW, is she getting
physical help with the household so she is free to care for babies as they
need her? Are these helpers supportive of the breastfeeding or are they
telling her she is nuts to "try" to do this with two babies?

Do you have twins or is there a LLLL who has nursed twins (and helped a lot
with a lot of different sets of twins) in your area? Sometimes a mother
really needs to speak with someone who has been there. We MOT-LLLL can be
"tougher" yet have credibility.

Karen Gromada


In a message dated 99-12-09 00:08:40 EST, you write:

<< Connie Chiavario <[log in to unmask]>
 Subject: Re: Helping a Mother of Twins

 I am currently working with a mother of twins.  The babies were born at 38
 weeks, healthy and no apparent problems...The good thing is that these
babies were born vaginally, with the boy being delivered breech, second.  The
mother told me that the doctor grabbed his feet and "really pulled him down
hard"...

 Anyway, I saw these babies about 2 weeks pp. at home.  The boy was still
 having problems staying on, etc.  While I was there, the mother was showing
 me that the boy had a "bump" in his neck that she thought was a little
 strange...He seemed to favor that side even in being held after we observed
him...

 Another thing, this couple has the book "Baby wise" (YUCK!) sitting there
 and are trying to get the babies to nurse together and "on a schedule".  I
 understand that to save time that many mothers of twins do like to nurse
 them together, but I think that there needs to be some extra "TLC" given to
 this one in the area of breastfeeding him more often and more effectively...
>>

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