This might be breaking the Lnet rules a bit but I feel the need to prove
comic relief as we distress over the CPSC report on co-sleeping.
Why is time given to the potential dangers of beds and not enough to dangers
of bread?
Consider the following: :-)
-Rob (feeling much the sarcastic wise guy)


Important warning for those who have been drawn
unsuspectingly into the use of bread:

 1. More than 98% of convicted felons are bread
      users.

 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in
      bread-consuming households score below average
      on standardized tests.

 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was
      baked in the home, the average life expectancy was
       less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were
       unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth;
       and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and
       influenza ravaged whole nations.

 4. More than 90% of violent crimes are committed
      within 24 hours of eating bread.

 5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough."
      It has been proven that as little as one pound of
      dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The
      average American eats more bread than that in one
      month!

 6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread
      exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's,
      Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

 7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects
     deprived of bread and given only water to eat
      begged for bread after as little as two days.

 8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the
      user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut
      butter, and even cold cuts.

 9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since
      the human body is more than 90% water, it follows
    that eating bread could lead to your body being
      taken over by this absorptive food product, turning
     you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

 10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

 11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400
        degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an
        adult in less than one minute.

 12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable
        to distinguish between significant scientific fact
       and meaningless statistical babbling.

 In light of these frightening statistics, we propose
 the following bread restrictions:

 1. No sale of bread to minors.

 2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign,
      complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.

 3. A 300% federal tax on all bread to pay for all
      the societal ills we might associate with bread.

 4. No animal or human images, nor any primary
      colours (which may appeal to children) may be
      used to promote bread usage.

 5. The establishment of "bread-free" zones around
      schools.

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