Dear LactNetters,
        On September 17th, I was diagnosed with breast cancer (God has a
strange and unusual sense of humor). I had a lumpectomy 2 weeks ago, and
that was how it was diagnosed.  It is in exactly the same place that I had a
lumpectomy in 1986, which was a benign fibroadenoma.  I've had yearly
mammograms since 1986, when I was 31, because of the previous lump.  Ob/gyn
found the lump during my annual exam, which was actually about 4 months
overdue.  I do cursory monthly exams, but hadn't noticed it.  I was
expecting this to be another fibroadenoma, so was surprised when the doc
said it was cancer.
        I had my axillary lymph nodes removed Tuesday.  Yesterday I got the
call that all 19 lymph nodes were "negative" (free of cancer).  After the
surgeries heal, then I'll visit the oncology team at my HMO and look at
options for further treatment -- radiation or chemo.  I've decided against
Tamoxifen based on my own reading (and much to the chagrin of my surgeon,
who is finding me a very feisty patient -- I told him "compliance" was not
in my vocabulary).  If anyone wants to write and provide other perspectives
on tamoxifen, I'll listen, but it seems like a cure that is worse than the
disease.  I'm actually doing quite well with the whole situation, being my
usual stubborn, assertive, opinionated self, and refusing to "borrow
trouble" and worry before worry is warranted.  My husband, mother, daughter,
and sisters, on the other hand, are quite upset, as are some of my friends,
or at least they were until the lymph node results came back.  Now they are
all breathing huge sighs of (relative) relief.
        Of course, cancer at this stage has no physical symptoms, so I feel
fine.  I had the lumpectomy under just a local anesthesia (drove the surgeon
and all the OR team nuts because I would not agree to general anesthesia --
but hey, it was no worse than a trip to the dentist).  The lymph node
surgery was under general anesthesia, as they gave me no choice about that.
But I had it done at 7:30 am Tuesday and by 11 am was sitting in Barnes and
Noble with my husband having coffee and scones (any buying books on breast
cancer!!).  So, I had axillary lymph node surgery and got quoted in the New
York Times on the same day -- pretty special.  I went back to work Wednesday
and taught my 3 classes. Daytime TV is SO BORING.  It aches a little under
my arm, nothing major, and I have this groovy drain in the incision, which
will be there for a few days.  It's the place where the drain goes in that
hurts, not the surgical site.  I have not taken any of the prescription
painkillers they gave me.  Ibuprofen has been enough.  Figured I'd save the
Darvocet for recreational use (kidding).
        I'm still going on my 4-city trip for LLLI in early October (hey,
can't let LLLI down, can I?).  No way I would cancel the trip.  That's also
when I'll get to see my daughter Miranda in person, though I already told
her over the phone (she's at college in Virginia).
        And for those who are wondering, no, I did not have any of the risk
factors.  In fact, I am on the seriously low-risk end for all of them, with
having been breastfed for 18 months, no history of breast or any other kind
of cancer in my family at all, late menarche (14.5 years), early age at
first child (25), 3 kids, 9.5 years of breastfeeding, relatively healthy
diet, white person.  But, we all know that's not the way statistics work --
someone has to be at the tail end of those distributions.
        I'm quite happy to accept any prayers or good vibes or healing
energy anyone wants to send my way.  Light a candle, sacrifice a chicken, do
a chant in the forest -- I'll take everything.  I've had Hindus in India and
witches in Texas and Christians and atheists and UUs and lots of others from
all over praying for me, and I was even given an authentic Huichol (Native
American from Mexico) healing stick Wednesday.  It all helps.  I do ask that
all 2000+ of you *not* inundate me with email, as I will not have time to
read and respond at this point -- I am trying to keep all my home time just
for my family.  Thanks for listening and caring, and for being there -- the
LactNet community is a very important part of my life.  Cheers!

Kathy Dettwyler

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