Pat shared,

<< She is diabetic and has circulation problems
 in her feet, so I decided that I would take some of my essential oils and
 would massage her feet, concluding with a warm foot bath.

 As I shared with friends my plans to "touch" my mother, one of them said,
 "Be sure to let her 'touch' you.'"  I must say that I was shaken by this
 suggestion. Each time I remembered her words I would weep. I was surprised
 by my reaction.

 I went for the visit, and twice I massaged her feet and gave her the foot
 bath.  It felt good. Of the oils, once I used "Peace and Calming" and the
 next time "Joy." I thought that we could use all of the help we could get.

 I came home in a much better place with my mother. I feel "tender" toward
 her now. There is a difference.  And as Joanne wrote of the difference, "In
 her?  In me?"

 I did let her "touch" me. There was an intimacy, a connection, and it has
 made a difference.
  >>

Pat, this brought tears to my eyes.  There is such an intimacy about foot
washing/massage.  How many of us would love it on the one hand, but feel
uncomfortable with it on the other?  I've gotten many manicures, but getting
a pedicure?  I've struggled with that -- finally DID it in Boca Raton at the
ILCA conference (and then had to take pictures of my toes!!).  And I think
the struggle has been not only my ugly (and currently yeasty) toes and feet
-- but the whole "servanthood" feel of it.

And of course, it brings to mind one of the most loving acts Jesus did which
was to wash the feet of his disciples....and Mary (Magdelen, was it?) who
washed the feet of Jesus in expensive perfume and dried them with her hair....

Such an act of incredible love, Pat....yes, I can imagine it "said" more to
your mother than anything you could have verbally said.

The whole touch issue is incredible.  I'll never forget my (at that time)
gangly Jill who was about 17, sitting on my lap when we were with my extended
family.  It was pretty common for us to do that, despite the fact she was
taller than I.  My mother said something to the effect of, "Don't you think
she's a bit old for that?" (which may give you a clue as to where she was
coming from).  To which I replied, "No, and I hope my children are NEVER too
old to sit in my lap..."

Touch is powerful.  Which is one of the reasons co-sleeping and breastfeeding
are such powerful demonstrations of our love.

Jan

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