I think we all know of employed moms/students who have made
breastfeeding work despite difficult separations, even during the early
weeks.  But I think, what many of us are saying is, "But what is the
emotional and physical cost to the mother and the baby?"

Many first-time mothers have no idea what they are going to feel like
after birth--not just physically but emotionally.  I think we need to
prepare women prenatally for those changes.  I believe women need to
know that many of us absolutely "fall in love" with our babies and find
it difficult to leave them.  Some of us even find it difficult to have
anyone else touch our babies.  Of course, not all women feel this way
because of various reasons, but I still think it important that all
women be aware that separating from your baby can cause an emotional
upheaval. I have been told numerous times by employed/student mothers
that they experienced a level of grief in leaving their babies that they
would never have believed possible.

I also think we need to talk to mothers about the grief an infant feels
from being separated from their mothers.  Infants will sleep more when
separated from their mothers, they may cry more, and may have feeding
problems.  Infants have no concept of time, nor can explanations be
given to explain a mother's absence.  Babies are remarkable resilient
and will make do with what is given to them because there is no choice
for them.

I think we need to help breastfeeding women make separation decisions
without regrets.  If first-time mothers know ahead of time that life is
not the same after baby, they will not be so shocked after their babies
are born.  They will look at their options more clearly and be prepared
to change them or stick with them(depending on the situation).

Many of you posted some wonderful options for the MBA mother to
consider. She may while she is still pregnant not even consider them as
viable.  But after her baby's birth, she may remember them when she
starts to feel panicked by having to attend that all-day class.  Valerie
W. McClain, IBCLC

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