I have a hard time making this an all or nothing issue. While I agree
with most of what has been said, I would still have to assess each
situation on an ongoing basis (excluding hearing tests, circs).
First, my own experience. I nursed my daughter for only two years. I say
only because I had intended on more but she had to have major urinary
tract surgery when she was 2. This was extremely stressful - in part
because she was on antibiotics for 9 months prior to surgery to prevent
the nephritis she had been getting which had already caused kidney
damage (btw, on the very positive side, the docs didn't understand why
she hadn't had major infections long before her first at 15 months and
finally decided it must have been the breastfeeding). Anyway, I couldn't
deal with her being NPO and not being able to nurse so I decided to wean
her then. In retrospect, I didn't have to but that's where I was.
OK, enough on the reason for only nursing for 2 years. My daughter was
an incredibly and delightfully snuggly baby from the getgo. Molding into
my arms. Nursing like a pro the first time at breast, which was the day
after my emergency c/section and she'd already been bottle fed. My
pediatrician gave me the 'don't let her use you as a pacifier routine'
(he was stupid and I changed pediatricians).
HOWEVER, I do have to say that if she could have nursed 24 hours a day
for the 2 years I nursed her outside of the time she spent running once
she was mobile, she would have. She had an incredible need to suck and I
just was not in a situation where it could be on me. At home I carried
her in a front pouch essentially all the time and rarely had her in a
crib. At work (I teach at a University) I had a student sitter so I
could nurse her when she needed. At all times that she was not at my
breast or eating, she had a pacifier in her mouth. Awake or asleep. And
I had a milk supply to nurse 2 other kids. She was not allowed the
pacifier in preschool but the moment she was out it was back in her
mouth. She used it until she was 5.
As for the need for closeness, that persisted as well and we co-slept.
She was like a heat-seeking missile and would have every limb wrapped
around me that she possibly could. At 13 she no longer uses a pacifier
and prefers her own bed but still hugs and snuggles.
I don't feel at all guilty or wrong for allowing her to use the pacifier
and not me; I'd do the same again. She preferred it to her thumb,
probably since it would have limited her explorations as the pacifier
freed up her hands. And I think I've got a healthy kid.
So - I have to say I would do a good assessment of the family and baby
before I would totally veto a pacifier. In the hospital where I work
mom/baby on call, there are rare and short times when I use a pacifier
if mom asks. Generally that's if she needs to take a shower or spend
time in the bathroom and knows she'll get very stressed if her baby
starts crying. My first choice is to hold the baby while she's out but
when I've got 3 other couplets, discharges, admissions, medications,
etc., etc. that's not always possible. So there may be 5-10 minutes once
or twice a day when the pacifier is used (or at most 15 minutes if the
mom's in the shower). I just really can't get too upset about it and, in
my experience, it hasn't seemed to have a major impact on effective latching.
Joan
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