Cathy,

I hope I recalled the phrase correctly. I think that's what I remember
being told too.

You gave a great answer to Jessica. You're so right on. And so
diplomatically put. I, too, remember many such frustrations, and my
decision to find a way to go around the influence of the poorly informed
docs by going straight to the client with solid information and
empowering them (and their families) directly.

Jessica, you wrote " how do I go
about changing his mind?"

After many such experiences, I have found that it's important to pick
your battles. There is only so much time and energy. "A man (or woman or
child) convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." There is
a subtle difference between influence and control.

However passionate you feel about breastfeeding, it is important not to
respond in a codependent manner, trying to control the situation by
seeing yourself as a savior, your clients as victims and the OB as the
perpetrator of harm. The only person in life over whom we have any real
degree of real control is our own self.

Such examples so easily hook our own "inner child" into transferrences
resembling plain old sibling rivalry or issues with our own "mean"
parents and authority figures of the past.

I have heard it suggested that at least some men choose to go into OB-GYN
because of a submerged deep dislike for women. There's a name for it
which escapes me at the moment - perhaps misogyny? The physicians whom
you describe seem to have far more and far deeper problems with
relationships and control than you can imagine. What you see is only the
tip of the iceberg!
Remember the Titanic!

Jean
-------------------------------
K. Jean Cotterman RNC, IBCLC
Dayton, Ohio, USA

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