I had a new mom client once who was a smoker nursing her third baby. She had
smoked while nursing the two previous ones just fine. I gave her the standard
spiel: cut down if you can; don't smoke in the same room as the baby; nurse
first, then light up; etc. She said that was all good advice, but she
remembered very clearly how it felt to be nursing her second one and saying to
herself, "Why won't he hurry up and finish so I can have a cigarette?" So
maybe even the advice to smoke after nursing has to be given with a grain of
common sense. You want the baby to be able to finish its feeds---especially
if smoking is putting mom's production at risk.
Heather, your "time for myself" anaylsis is great. I suspect it is not at all
superficial but very deeply true.
Peace. Chris.