I mentioned in my post about mammograms, and was reminded of the following
guide that I came across a few years ago. I want you all to know that I do
find some humor in life.

Patricia Gima, IBCLC
Milwaukee



              THE MAMMOGRAM...

This is an X-ray that has its own name because no one wants to actually say
the word BREAST.

Mammograms require your breast to do gymnastics.  If you have extrememly
agile breasts, you should do fine.  Most breasts, however, pretty much hang
around doing nothing in particular, so they're woefully unpreepared.

BUT you can prepare for a mammogram right at home using these simple
exercises:

EXERCISE 1:  Refrigerate two bookends overnight.  Lay one of your breasts
(either will do) between the two bookends and smash bookends together as
hard as you can.  Repeat three times daily.

EXERCISE 2:  Locate a pasta maker or old wringer washer.  Feed the breasts
into the machine and start cranking.  Repeat twice daily.

EXERCISE 3:  (Advanced) Situate yourself comfortably on your side on the
garage floor.  Place one of your breasts snugly behind the rear tire of the
family van.  When you give the signal, hubby will slowly ease the car into
reverse.  Hold for five seconds.  Repeat on the other side.



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