I loved Marie Davis's term:  "Marrying the client" to describe the needy mom
who wants repeated visits even when nothing much is wrong.  It has always
seemed to me that there are some problems which only love will solve.  In my
experience, these moms don't come along that often, and I agree they are
often masking PPD or even some kind of post-traumatic stress syndrome (ref.
to in the lit and common in moms who may have histories of sexual abuse.)
As things steady down, they "wean" away from the extra moral support they
seem to need.  Gentle urges towards mother-to-mother support groups, towards
a good counselor, or whatever, may be appropriate, but sometimes its just a
short-term shoring up by someone trustworthy who is genuinely interested in
seeing them succeed as a mother.  So that's us, and it goes with our
territory.  It's ok to set boundaries for the contacts which seem
appropriate to you.  Usually I continue to ask to be paid, but there have
been times when I've waived the fees and just put myself at the mother's
service as a gesture that she had abundance.  Sometimes that's just the
magic. In 20 years this has never led to a relationship which has lasted
longer than 2-3 months.

Barbara Wilson-Clay BSEd., IBCLC
Private Practice, Austin Texas
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