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Date: | Thu, 19 Mar 1998 22:44:13 +0200 |
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Diane - your message struck a chord, particularly your last paragraph,
"There are also times that I've felt as if the mom is looking for a reason to
quit but feels guilty to just stop, so she'll convince herself that she
*cannot* breastfeed, despite any amount of evidence to the contrary. She'd
rather "fail" at breastfeeding than have to deal with the emotional fallout of
making what she knows is a selfish and inferior choice. This often seems to
be the case with mothers who are more informed, but unwilling to be available
for their babies as much a breastfeeding relationship requires. They would
much rather talk sadly about how they "couldn't" breastfeed than admit that
they stopped because breastfeeding interfered with their social lives, or diet
plans, or......"
I agree that this kind of thing just happens, hard though we try to deny it.
I go through all sorts of mental gymnastics before I can "accept" that this
mom is perhaps looking for permission to *not* breastfeed, in a way that
preserves her self-esteem. I wonder if LLLLs and LCs are not used as a last
resort for this purpose too so that mom can tell herself, and no doubt
every-one else, that "I even saw Diane (or Pam, whoever!) and I still
'couldn't' breastfeed .." Sometimes, in my more despondent moments, I
shudder to think what this does to our reputation!
Pamela Morrison IBCLC, Zimbabwe
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