After hearing about the Ezzos and their "Preparation for Parenting" program
and _Babywise_ book for years at conferences, I am dealing with this for
the first time.  I thought perhaps some of you might be interested in how
we are handling this and I am open to other suggestions.

Our difficulty started a couple of months ago when a mother who had come
semi-regularly to our hospital mothers' support group read the _Babywise_
book, put her 4-5 month old baby on the suggested schedule, and was
thrilled with how her family's lives had changed for the better.  She then
became somewhat of a problem at the group since she wanted to share this
"wonderful" program with the other mothers.  Although we do have a
consistent philosophy at the group (basically attachment parenting a la
Sears) we try to be open to the sharing of ideas, but we did pretty much
stifle this mother's attempts to sing the praises of this book.  We were
well aware of the dangers of this program, especially when used with young
infants, and this mother would have debated us for hours (and has on the
phone) which is not the purpose of the group.

Well, after the phone debates, which went round and round, she stopped
coming to the group, called the president of the hospital, and was referred
to our unit manager who has now also had interminable phone conversations
with her.  After her last 4-page letter to our manager I think we've
managed to end the dialogue but I'm sure she's telling everyone she knows
how awful we were to her.

What we did at the support group was put together a statement explaining
that we would never intend to suggest that there is only one right way to
parent, but "have grave concerns that following these [Ezzo's] methods
rigidly may cause harm to babies."  On this statement we gave suggested
url's for those with internet access:
     http://www.fix.net/~rprewett/fam.html#discernment

http://www.prairienet.org/community/health/laleche/detsleepthrough.html

For those without internet access we printed out and copied several of the
articles at the first site and Kathy Dettwyler's article from the second
site along with the new AAP statement on breastfeeding and put them
together in binders to be checked out.  We also bought several copies of
Sears' _Christian Parenting and Childcare_ to check out as an alternative
for parents wanting childcare advice based on Christian scripture.   (***If
anyone hasn't checked out these sites, they are a wealth of information.
Lisa Marasco and Jan Barger have THE most wonderful article on "Examining
the Evidence for Cue Feeding of Breastfed Infants"--if you haven't read it,
do!)

The binders were checked out by several mothers who had been influenced by
the "Ezzo mom" and read with great interest.  One of these mothers had
bought a "Preparation for Parenting" video series and had also been going
to the Ezzo support group.  After she read the information we had compiled
she came back to the group just devastated that "she had ruined her baby
for life."  Of course, we assured her that she hadn't.  She said she had
always felt like she was "cheating" because she wasn't following the
program exactly, and torn because we were saying one thing and the Ezzo
group the exact opposite.  We have since found out that at least one church
in the area teaches the classes and several pastors recommend the book.

Last week we had a meeting to which we invited the leaders of the other
area hospitals' support groups, Lamaze instructors, public health nurses,
and Parents as Teachers facilitators (they work in the homes with new
parents).  About 25 people came, and other than the LC's, no one had heard
of this program.  All were extremely interested, and saddened by what the
philosophy advises.  Although they hadn't heard of this program, several
remarked afterwards that they were sure they had dealt with parents
following this philosophy but had no idea where it was coming from.

Currently we are planning to try to contact Pastors (hopefully by way of a
church member) that we have heard recommend the book, to make sure they are
acutely aware of just what they are recommending and the possible problems
(specifically, failure to thrive).  One of our OB nurses is currently
reading all the material since she belongs to one of the churches
recommending it.  I am meeting next week with one of our Pediatricians to
discuss the issue--I am hoping he'll be interested enough to inform the
Pediatrics and Family Practice groups; if not one of us will go.  Our goal
is to make sure everyone who deals with infants knows this is out there so
they can accurately assess if a baby comes in with a problem.

So anyway, sorry this is so very long, but this issues has been taking up
so much of my time I had to share it with you all.

Becky Krumwiede, RN, IBCLC, Appleton, Wisconsin
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