I just got an e-mail asking that I call them and confirm that I had sent them
a letter via e-mail as they want to print it.  As I reread my letter it seems
to have a few rough spots but I thought I'd share it with you.

 Mardrey Swenson in New Hampshire

Dear Ms. Eisner:

I was glad to see that you wrote about breastfeeding but saddened by the
ambivalent experience you described in your December seventh Opinion column.
I have nursed three children and never once felt like "an over-milked cow"!!!
And not all husbands become annoyed when their children breastfeed.  Your
husband's reaction was probably a typical one to the transition to seeing you
in a new role, one for which our society does little to prepare us.  As he saw
how their first-born thrived on human milk alone, one friend's husband dubbed
her with obvious pride "The Dairy Queen,"  rather than the derisive "Milk
Machine" I've sometimes heard.

As a new mother I welcomed this new part of my life's experience and felt only
a sense of well-being when my breast filled with sweet mother's milk.  What
was harder was adjusting to caring for this new being who was so utterly
dependent on me and my husband for survival.   But I credit unmedicated
birthing and early breastfeeding for giving me the tools to learn how to care
and respond to my newborn.  Nothing interfered with the exquisite unfolding of
my mothering instincts in those first days and weeks.

 I am sorry you experienced '"pain, exhaustion and confinement."   I found
breastfeeding my children to be freeing - I could go anywhere without worrying
if I had enough food for my baby; I could change my plans at a moment's notice
as long as my baby was with me.  And I did.  I found myself wanting my baby
with me.  I felt ill at ease if we were separated for more than a few hours.
As a result I found myself delaying a return to work.  If I'd lived in Sweden
or Italy or number of other countries I'd have had longer paid leave for new
mothers.

 And I found that in nursing my babies in front of other families who had
breastfeeding babies there was no awkwardness, no feeling of the need for
privacy or confinement.  My own father, who was breastfed, smiled and nodded
his head in approval when I nursed my children in front of him.  My
grandmother-in-law tells me that here in the USA in the 1920's and 30's she
and her neighbors nursed their babies in public.

I think you may have misread the American Academy of Pediatric statement.  My
year old infants did not feed anywhere near 10 to 12 times a day.  I was lucky
if they nursed even five times a day at that age.  Newborns do nurse that
often but as their stomachs grow and their capacity to take in more at a
feeding does as well, the time between nursing may significantly lengthen.
Perhaps you were no longer nursing when your children turned one year old.

After you described that breastfeeding your daughter brought "profound
pleasure in suckling a baby and the intimacy it creates" I'm puzzled why your
editorial did not in a more positive fashion call for changes in the workplace
rather than ask if we're ready for them.  Businesses whose work stations
cannot accommodate a child's presence need to participate in creating on-site
childcare, and facilities and work breaks for pumping or nursing.   They need
to hear that the time for this is now.

Our society has tried very hard to compartmentalize our lives, but as you
suggested, in many businesses it is being realized that people are more than
robotons and that they and the company are better served when it is
acknowledged that people have responsibilities outside of work as well.
Companies are making changes to be more supportive of people who have
responsibilities for other human beings, be they children or aging parents.

I think your editorial was a small step forward since it focused our attention
on the needs of breastfeeding mothers, but I wish you could have been bolder
and more positive in engendering the needed change and also included some
positive experiences that women have had in the workplace.

You chose to focus on the mother having to adjust to the reactions of her
colleagues.  If enough nursing mothers stop hiding behind closed doors the
colleagues might become so used to seeing a baby feeding at breast that not
only would they not feel awkward, but they might never even take note.   When
breastfeeding in public can take place as an everyday, unnotable event, then
we will know that we have passed through a small moment in history when
viewing breasts as sexual objects and advertising tools no longer supplants
their role to nourish babies.

Mardrey Swenson